The End Is Near!
My man is finishing up his deployment very soon now and the last 8 months has been very hard. I have had little support and thought I had to go it alone. Silly me, didn't think to use the internet for support even though I'm on it all day long lol. I don't have many friends due to a crazy busy life (my own business and a part-time job) and my family doesn't understand why I have spent the last year (if you include basic) waiting on a man. Love. For those of you who have been lucky like me and found their soul mates, you know exactly why I wait. For those of you who haven't, well I wish you the best of luck finding them. I didn't plan on falling in love with a soldier, always said I would never be able to handle it. But you can't choose who you fall for and I think I've done alright for myself, considering. But I am a worrier, I am very cautious and do my best so I and those around me do not get hurt. Obviously all of you can see the downside to dating a soldier when you can't stop worrying for more than a second or 2 at a time. I work 2 jobs, about 80-85 hours a week just so I don't let my worrying get out of hand. I get nightmares frequently and break down often, but he will be home soon and everything will slowly get better. This past year has been the hardest thing that I have ever done. Yet I know that he worries about me being at home and has to still put on his gear and keep his mind on his mission, whatever it may be. This isn't just his deployment. It's ours. I've been told it's harder if you're their wife, even without kids, but I think it is just as hard if not worse to be a girlfriend. I have no guarantee, no ring on my left hand saying that we will be together until death do us part (not counting divorce). For all I know, he could get home and dump me....(I know my man loves me and never would, I'm just making a point). The uncertainty is just one more thing to add onto the list of worry for military girlfriends. Like I said, this is, by far, the hardest thing I have ever done. But my man is worth the wait, the worry, the flat out fear that comes with a military relationship, and I am so proud of him.