I'm young and restless, yet painfully old and wise. Sometimes I feel I've forgotten which way is left or right. I'm confused, but I've got it all together. I'm lost but I'm found, I'm wrong but I'm right. I'm a walking and talking contradiction. 

My name is Bray, and I'm reckless. 


My soldier, yes mine, is currently serving his second 15 month tour of the sandbox. He is ground special ops infantry in the Army, ergo, most of the work he does, or even where is is, tends to be classified. Sometimes I wonder if he's completely two separate people... sometimes I wonder if I ought to be two separate people myself.

He's not the first soldier I've known to deploy, I'm sure he won't be the last. Some of them came home and picked up where they left off, others came home a different shade of what they once were,  and some of them didn't come home.

Regardless of weather your soldier is male or female, in the airforce, marines, navy, or national guard. Being the one left behind during any deployment no matter how long or short, is never easy.

I hope that we can set aside the verbal bashings between branches and realize, we are all going through the same thing. Let's Unite just as our service men do, and support each other through this.


All my best,


BrayLyn BrayLyn
22-25, F
10 Responses Dec 27, 2009

that the one you love so mauch makes it home untouched..................................................................................

Love the last paragraph! My boyfriend is in the National Guard and my best friend is in the Navy. I can't stand listening to my boyfriend's Guard buddies bash people in the Navy. They all joined for the same reason: to protect their families, friends, and their country!

@two brothers I def agree. It's one thingif you know they died but it's added pressure not knowing if they are or not. But we just gotta keep the faith. <br />
@bray, thanks girl! I really appreciate it. Feel free to messgae me anytime. It's nice having someone here that understands where I'm coming from seeing as some of my friends doesn't really. Yeah my boyfriends gone all year in Iraq he won't be until august. It must be so hard for him and all the soldiers there. I can't imagine what they must be going through.I really cant wait until he's home and back in my arms.

@twobrothers, I really appreciate that! There is some comfort in knowing that none of us have the answers, but regardless of knowing the answers or not, time never stands still. We must move forward with what we do know, and hope the rest works it's self out. I promise you all, if I figure out the answers to our lives issues.. you'll all be the first to hear about it.<br />
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All my best,<br />

Who Understnads us?We have the stress more than woman who's husbands died what about not knowing ur husband died????Does anyone know the feeling of having ur husband leave for 1 year and u have no clue if hes dead or not till the war is over?I have and it's a wait a long wait especially if u have a child on ur hands constantly saying wheres daddy

u sound coragouse u still have an unbalanced plan but u still walk forward with a plan B and not even know what it is.....U r a great woman....

@Sam, I totally agree, we are all a family, it's just sometimes we are at separate points.. deployment I feel is one of the hardest. It's great to talk to others handling it as well.<br />
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@Lucky, I am SO glad to hear of your soldier's safe return. We are all so grateful of the time and compassion he has donated to us. Enjoy every minute you have, and I hope there are plenty of them!<br />
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@Babiface, I'm so glad to see you use the term "proud". I think a lot of the time we get so caught up in the loss that we forget what amazing selfless courageous soldiers we are dating. Although we sacrifice a lot for them, they sacrifice it all for us. I'm so proud to be a military girlfriend. Tours are never easy, but I'm always here if you need a helping hand.<br />
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All my best to you ladies and your soldiers, May they all come home safe and sound, and as soon as possible.<br />
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bray very well put girl. I think we all need a place to talk. I love all my girls on here, But there a difference sometimes when it comes from having you soldier here... or at basic... and having them deployed.. its nice to talk to anyone who understands.

Very well put Ladies. Thank God my man deployment we be over here in a few days. He has been gone only three months but this is like his 5th time over there...Anyone needs to talk I am here.....

I totally agree. Im glad this group got created. I really need someone to talk to that can actually relate to what im going through right now. it's so hard and i feel like i have no one i can actually talk to that understands it. From feeling so confused to being sad, to just feeling completely lost, it's not easy. But i do it for my soldier that i love. He's the best thing in my life and im so proud of him.<br />
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If you need anyone to talk to im here.