He was my everything. I met my husband two years ago at an AA meeting. He was in rehab for a heroin addiction, fresh out of prison, and looking for a new life. I was a recovering alcoholic looking for a purpose. I found it. Him.

From the moment I spoke to him all I wanted was to show him that life was beautiful, that he could be loved, and that he deserved the world. He became my purpose. My problem to fix. I fell head over heels in love with him. And he fell even harder for me. Four months later I married him.

The first few months were amazing. He talked to me when he needed help when he was having cravings. I gave up my family and my dreams for him. And it was worth it, until the night I walked in on him with a needle in his leg.

I couldnt process what was happening. I shut the door and walked upstairs and sat on the floor. He ran after me telling me he just found the needle, he wasnt using..etc etc. The sad part is I almost believed him. I mean I saw the man I loved with a needle in his vein and I was going to believe he didnt shoot up.

I told him he was a liar. He then proceeded to beg for my help. Said he couldnt stop himself. So I stayed with him.

This happend a year ago and still to this day I cant get over it. Ive lost an innocence I can never get back. I cant even look in our silverware drawer because im afraid there will be missing ones. Jesus, im afraid of a freaking spoon!

I love this man more than anything, but I cant trust him. I know people make mistakes, but I gave up everything for him. I was told I cant join the police academy anymore because im associated with a known criminal. I cant even put him on our lease because of his felony.

He gets mad when I ask him about where money is going and threatens to leave me if I continue asking about his personal business. Im lost.

I want my old husband back. I want our home to be happy again. I want to stop the nightmares of him shooting up. I dont want to feel as if he is cheating on me with heroin. I want him. I want my life back.
cantsavehim cantsavehim
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 19, 2014

get out, this drug is crazy. as much as your told that you are loved heroin is there oxygen. I've been through this for 15 years. it gets worse. you have to allow the adict to hit bottom on their own
they may die but if you don't stop being am enabler you'll both die. hopefully he will go to jail and maybe that will save his life