Yup I Too Am In This Night Mare

I know too well after reading your stories this nightmare, my husband is a sex addict, his problem is with these online dating sites and sexting we have been together for 3 years married for a year have 2 beautiful girls together I found out when I was pregnant with our first daughter 2 years ago I found explicit text messages and pics on his phone , I was hurt and confused my world has totally come apart I felt like I was not pretty enough my trust was gone I felt angry and alone this is not a problem you can just talk about..... well time went on I again caught him I even joined a on line group for wives of sex addicts I discontinued the group because I found the support to be not what I needed I dont need to hear " leave him"" its not that easy I do love him very much though the hurt is almost unbearable.. but love keeps me here love keeps me fighting for our marriage, I have played detective its exhausting to play detective . I guess it was my way of not being hurt yet again I have yet again caught him doing his sexting thing even though I have a keylogger on the computer records to his cell phones turns out he just bought another phone, now I am very angry, feel very unappreciated and completely lost after thinking it over I have come to this conclusion, this is his problem I cant fix it he has too I cant control his actions I cant change the past just try to pick up these broken pieces I told him he needs to get help he has agreed to see a addictions counselor I have read there is hope for a marriage that has this problem but both have to work though it, I cant keep taking the blows to my own self worth because of his actions I have to be strong and take this journey see where it goes I hope he loves us enough to get better I hear when the addict gets better the marriage becomes stronger because of it I am going to be hopeful...what else do I have?

ps I also made him read this post
lololjgc lololjgc
31-35, F
2 Responses Dec 9, 2012

our husbands do have to take full responsibility if not it will be a lost cause I am glad our husbands are willing to seek help its the first step, they have so much to lose.... families at stake I cant imagine how a few pics would be worth it..... its the addiction its sad, the fact that my husband is willing to get help is the thing that stopped me from walking out I have been living this cycle for 2 years, my marriage is important to me I took my vows seriously I told him if he is willing to fight for our marriage I will support him but I will not stay and enable this sickness a moment longer. I just cant my nerves are shot I got a 2 year old and a 1 month old daughter to look after they need him to get better they need a father , I do hope the counselors get though to your husband, I have faith in them they are trained professionals I do have faith in my husband I hope all goes well with your husband, and he gets better as well :)

I feel your pain. I am sorry you are going through this. My husband is also willing to get help and has gone to his first counseling appointment. I want to have hope...I do know personally of one marriage that recovered from this, so I know it's not impossible. But he has to take full responsibility for his actions and for the pain he has caused you. My husband isn't quite there yet. He's sorry, he feels bad, he wants to stop, but he thinks it's unreasonable that I am as upset about it as I am--after all it could be much worse. This in itself tells me he isn't ready yet. But maybe the counselor can get through to him. and for your husband too!!! You are right, it isn't your problem and you can't fix it. Take all the responsibility off of your shoulders! You can support him as much as is reasonable, but don't allow yourself to let him off the hook, to be an "enabler". I hope you will keep us posted on the progress!