Something Is Wrong With Me!

I met the love of my life 10 years ago while we were both still married. I did not know he was the love of my life yet. I could always tell that he had a spark for me but at the time it wasn't the same for me, I found him attractive but never thought much about it. 10 years later his wife dies of cancer........ He starts texting me and sending me flowers......... He sweeps me off my feet, I still do not know what hit me. He tells me that he has never loved anyone the way that he loves me and he simply adores me and tells me every chance he gets. We are both completely and hopelessly addicted to each other. We both hate being away from each other, even to go to work!
***Now here is where I admit that there is something wrong with me!
I have this man that cannot get enough of me and shows me in every way possible, but yet I am so insecure about his deceased wife that it rules my life. I have rarely been insecure in my life but for some reason I cannot shake this and I'm afraid that I am going to ruin this! I think ugly things all the time and it makes me feel gross. I don't understand why I can't just be with him and be happy. I think part of it is because her family won't let him go and invites themselves over all the time and want to tell me stories about times they've all shared.....ugh - I want to throw up just thinking about it........
Has anyone else felt this way???? I'm really hoping to find someone that has experienced something similar to mine and maybe can tell me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
robin1577 robin1577
36-40, F
4 Responses Oct 14, 2013

I knew my husband LW as couples my ex husband and he and LW went to dinner a few times. We have even married now for 3 years and often times I think of her fondly sometimes I enjoy hearing stories about them and his past experiences but he's getting a tattoo as big as his chest next week of her picture . He has pictures everywhere of her and very few of me. He has her things still picked up refusing to get rid of anything. Clothes shoes hairbrushes that have never been used ect. I feel bitter to say the least because if I speak of an experience where my ex husband was there he gets so upset with me and tells me he doesn't want to hear it. His family has told me hurt fully I'll never measure up to her and I'm trying to take her place. He has told me he wants to get burrows next to her and he knows I have no intention on getting Barried. He says we will all three be together in heaven. I don't want that. It's all very sensitive but I don't speak in it unless I'm mad sometimes resentment will slip out • it's sucks

It is so much more difficult to be wife number 2 when your husband did not CHOOSE to end his first marriage.
Not enough credit is given....too many people try to tell us that for some reason, just because his first wife died, we have to expect less in OUR marriage to him.

No way! I am still no different than any other new wife and am entitled to all the love and passion and excitement and gentleness that SHE had with him when they first married!

Just reading your post gives me anxiety. I cannot count the number of times I have felt this way.
I too knew my new husbands late wife, she died of cancer 8 years ago.
Her family (and his) cling to the life they had together and I am OFTEN subjected to memories and stories.

My husband is wonderful, goes out of his way to make me feel special in my own way.....still.....I feel like I'll never measure up.

It's such a depressing way to live....always wondering if he'll ever be as happy as she made him...wondering if she pleased him sexually in ways that I can't, is he thinking of her when "their song" comes on....
It never ends.

Really, I think u need to learn to relax and accept dat dis family members wiil alwz be there. Be calm,knowing deyt dnt live there and wld leave for their homes after d visit. It can be frustrating,do a lot of breathing exercise;excuse ursf if u hv to.