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I'm the Lucky Duck!

I am the youngest child in my family. I have an older sister that I do not get along with very well. My mom was pregnant before her and 4 months into the pregnancy she had a miscarage (sp?) it was a boy. It's weird because growing up I always wanted an older brother. My youth pastor when i was younger has become that older brother that i never had and always wanted.

Growing up though my sister i think learned to dislike me. Since I was the youngest I was asked to be the flower girl in several of our family and friends weddings. My sister would tell my mom that I was the "lucky duck" haha
As we grew up she just didn't like me. Still doesn't for some reason, there is this sense of jealousy that comes from her. She's very rude and just plain mean at times towards me. I don't get it. Sometimes she's nice to me and other times she's not. I go home and it takes a day for me and two for her before we are at each others throats, it's all downhill from there.

I sometimes see friends who have siblings and get along so well. I wish sometimes that my sister and I could get along like that, to be friends and sisters instead of the enemies that we seem to be.

She used to tell me that mom and dad didn't want me until I would cry. Then it was that they found me in a dumpster. She would lock me i nthe dark in the attic until i was screaming and crying. We would play hide n seek and she would hide me in this huge suit case we had and leave me there until Mom would realize that I wasn't around.  She chased me arond the kitchen table with a knife and almost stabbed me once because something I had done to upset her. I don't remember what I did. She sat on me once when we came home from school one day when i ran in needing to pee, and sat on me til I wet myself. The neighbors used to call my mom at work because of the screaming and fighting that used to go on as we grew up. She almost choked me a few times. I thought I was going to die.

We don't fight like that now, thank God! But she is still very hateful towards me. She is 32 and I'm 29 and she can still make me cry by the words that she says.

On the other hand, I have my "brother" I love him dearly and I feel like I have the sibling relationship that I always wanted. He is married and has 3 kids who I love and spend money on like they were my own nieces and nephew. I'm the cool aunt!
I don't always get to spend time with him but the 5 or 10 minutes here and there are very personal, and I walk away feeling like I have a sibling that I can talk to, look up to, and want to spend time with. We have both said that we love each other and that I am the little sister he never had, and he is the older brother I never had. Thank God for extened families!

fairymagic01 fairymagic01 26-30 1 Response Sep 15, 2008

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Yes, it's called your 'family of choice', and lots of people have them when their own families fail to be what they need. It's good that you found your 'big brother'. <br />
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Most of the time when someone seems to hate you like your sister does, it's because they are either jealous or they have their own hurting or feelings of inadequacy inside, and the only way they can feel better about themselves is to make someone else feel bad. Is she married? What's she like in other relationships?<br />
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I'm a big proponent of asking the hard questions. Next time you get the chance, ask her why, but don't be whiny about it. Pick a moment when she seems less than on her game. Maybe just say that you always wished your relationship with her could be better now that you are 'grownups'. But as I always say about those hard questions: don't ask unless you're sure you can handle the answer.<br />
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Best of luck.