Wrong....again

I'm 32 divorced living with MS and raising my daughter(7) and son(5). We have a beautiful but small home where there is no more physical or emotional abuse. We are very happy. I finally decided to start dating again after a year being divorced. Met a lot of duds and finally met who I thought was my Mr. Right. A Doctor. Handsome, intelligent everything I thought i deserved. I put up with so much why would he not be my knight and shining armor? He took me on beautiful dates. I felt courted. I began to notice he expected me to serve and cater to his needs not only sexually but in a marital way.I thought by him being an M.D. he wuld understand my medical situation and handle me mentally and physically with care. We met each others families and friends everyone seemed so happy. He asked me to take a trip with him to visit friends of his out of town. He said if I paid for my ticket he would handle the rest. The night before the trip I was exhausted taking care of kids,lawn and serving his needs. He simply asked for a drink and I asked politely for him to get it himself that I was drained. He left furious and I havent heard from him since. He never picked me up for the airport and I am out $381. for a flight I never took. No calls,emails....nothing. Found out today I'm pregnant and I'm heart-broken. Having my 2 chilldren I know what being a mom is. I'm so hurt,confused I feel like I'm back in my marriage.but much worse.I just want this summer to be over. I don't think I'll ever trust my heart again yet alone a man..If I could have an abortion tommorow I would. I have horrible medical insurance, my injectables are so much money and my neurologist warned me that carrying a baby may be extremely harmful to my health but having this baby is not an option. I just wish I would have been smarter.
lelabugg lelabugg
31-35
2 Responses Jul 31, 2012

Thank you so much for your response. I truely appreciate your encouraging words. I made an appointment with PP. in a few weeks. Like I said in my orginal post I just want this ordeal to be over. Back in 06 when I was diagnosed with MS I just knew everything was going to be ok. I need to find that strong person in me again because I am feeling extremly discouraged. I want to be better and not be scarred by the people I let into my life. It seems as though I expect to get back what I put out but I'm a little on the naive sise I suppose.

No problem! This is what EP is here for! That's great you were able to make an appointment.

You will find that person in you, and you've got two kids who I'm sure love you unconditionally and believe in that strong person, too.

In an ideal world, it should be like you said; people should get back just as much as they put in. Unfortunately there are people who like to take advantage of giving people without giving much of anything in return, or only giving the bare minimum to keep getting things from others. If your partner would rather ignore issues and dodge the issues you mentioned in your post than work with you to fix them, I hope you'll be able to walk away with your head high as ultimately it is his loss.

I know it can be really hard to trust people after having feelings for a person like that, but I don't let it discourage you from giving your all next time. It wouldn't have been for nothing; at least you'll have an even better understanding on what you need and don't need in a relationship. :)

Do you live in the United States? If so, there might be a Planned Parenthood center near you where they could perform or introduce you to a clinic that does low-cost abortions. If you are not in the U.S. and your country does not have low-cost, safe abortion options Women on Web has been helpful to me in obtaining the abortion pill since I live in a country where medical abortions have not been approved. I'm not sure if medical abortion is even an option depending on how far along you are and what medicines you are already taking, but just to put it out there. They do provide online consultations with their doctor to answer any questions like that, though.<br />
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On a side note, it sounds from what you wrote that your current partner is manipulative and has control issues. He might be playing on your health condition/any insecurities to make you think you need him and that his behavior is justified. It also sounds like your partner is cutting off communication, which I'm sure you already know is essential for any relationship to thrive, especially when both people have different points of views. If you really care about this person, I would suggest you both go through counseling. If he refuses or he does only to return to his old ways, it might be time to drop things. If I had kids, I wouldn't want my kids to see someone treating me like that and think it's OK. You sound like you're a strong woman who's been through a lot and like you said, you deserve someone who recognizes that.