Somebody Help Me.. I Need Some Guidance..

First off, I am a young adult (25 y.o.), unemployed, and I have quite a conservative family. I have tried a lot of times to come to a decision about my problem that I really think should be resolved at the soonest possible time. The issue is I am pregnant and am currently thinking of having an abortion. :(

There are a lots of things to consider and I know it is unfair for the embryo ( 3-4 weeks approximately) for me to think of such act. It's just that I grew up being a 'goody two-shoes' person, always doing what's right, being an example to my younger relatives, always being trusted with responsibilities, doing great with my studies -- making me feel that I need to abort the baby to live up to these 'expectations'. I know that this makes me an evil person and I have been going back-and-forth between saying yes or no to the pregnancy.

Here are the pros of my situation: having a new addition to our family since a parent of mine died less than a year ago, I will be able to stay here in my hometown since I am supposed to leave the country for an opportunity abroad, I am on the right age for starting a family, my boyfriend is totally up for having the baby, and of course having a baby would be a great gift to me.

Now for the cons: people will be disappointed of me, my family may reprimand me for being stupid, the opportunity abroad would have to be cancelled, I would have to deal with the consequences of my actions, expectations may change, negative reactions may be received, and I am not sure if me and my boyfriend can afford to have the baby as his salary, I think, will not be enough for him to support me and his family both at the same time.

Additional worries if I do proceed with the abortion includes future conception problems, emotional turmoil, and living with regrets for the rest of my life.

I am just sharing my story just to know if someone may be able to shed some light into the situation and help me realize as to what is best for the same. I want to hear some feedback from a stranger's point of view as I would not like to be judged by those who know me beforehand. Help me please. It feels like I'm dying here. :(
pitycrown pitycrown
22-25, F
2 Responses Dec 7, 2012

Please read my abortion story on my page. Your family may be disappointed at first But I promise they will come around and love that baby to death. Everything happens for a reason and if you can't go abroad something better will come around even though you don't believe it yet. Financially you can always get support. There is even a program to cover most if not all of day care or babysitting so you can also work. I didn't have a job at 20 when I found out I was pregnant either. It's scary but you can do it! Good luck

Try not to focus on what other people will think either way. What do you want? Do you want to be a mom right now? If so, go for it. You will probably miss a lot of opportunities in life by having them at a young age and it may become harder to relate to your friends who are going and doing. Is that something you can sacrifice without resentment?

Keep in mind your b/f may or may not stick around for the long haul. Most young women end up as single parents, and while I hope that wouldn't be the case, it happens so you need to consider how you might raise them alone. Promises can be made but the reality of the situation often breaks them.

If you really want to keep enjoying what you're doing (not for your image, but because YOU want to) then probably better to abort or seek other options. Yes, there is emotional turmoil, but the emotional turmoil of being a parent when you're not ready in your heart is just as bad if not one that sticks around longer since it's an 18+ year commitment to putting yourself (your needs snd desires) second to your kids.

I don't either decision is without emotional turmoil unless you feel ready in your heart for either. Therefore you just pick the one you can live with better. In my case that was abortion. For some it's going through with the pregnancy. If you decide kids are for you, make use of some of the support systems pregnancy crisis centers can offer (just make sure to check if it's a legit center and not bible study for stuff) and I would sign you both up for some parenting classes so you'll be better prepared and gave a game plan going in.