Trying Not To...

Dear Loving Lord,

The pain is overwhelming. To whom can I crawl to? To whom can I trust? Nay, no one in this world.
How will I overcome this? How will I actually live? I thought everything was going to be different from that moment on, because You were involved...
is it partly my fault... is it predestined in the hands of self-centered creatures?

I know I am meant to die to myself, in the Holy sense... and to find everlasting life through You... but, I feel as though I have now died inside in the darkest of ways.

Apparently, I am seen as the prey -- meaningless and at disposal. Will you avenge my broken heart? You are just, Lord.

Suicide is not an option, or is it...?
Hold my hand tightly and please do not let go, Lord, before it is too late. I want to be with You beyond comprehension. Being with You only in part, breaks my heart. I deeply loathe the choices some of Your children make. May I never become like them.

Always Yours,

Dead Woman Walking
DustToAshes DustToAshes
22-25, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

Please talk to me if you need to. I know it's been awhile, but I think about you a lot and it troubles me to see you suffering.

Thank you, my friend. I think about you, too. Right now the suffering is intermixed with confusion. Once I gather myself more together, I'd love to talk.