My Head's Aching With All These Thoughts... -_-

I like Biology. I like the idea of healing people, preferably something like Psychiatry. But the problem is, I don't wanna be a doctor in my country. If I enroll in a medical school here, I'd have to work my butt off. The curriculum here is totally pointless. You have to memorise EVERYTHING. Starting from Botany (wtf?) to Social Studies...everything...even History! How is studying the history of the country going to help me in becoming a doctor? How is studying PLANTS going to help me treat PEOPLE? -_-  Besides, psychiatry is not practiced widely here. I'd never be able to make enough money in my country by being a psychiatrist. 

Alright, so the other option is applying for a scholarship and studying abroad. Now the question is...where? But then again, I get homesick easily. Can I deal with that? I'm not a very strong-willed or independent person. How can I cope in a foreign country all by myself? I'm a quiet, introverted person. Will I be able to fit in? Moreover, anywhere I go, I'll have to deal with racism. -__-  

My friends are telling me, "Go to Canada or America..." One thing I've seen is that, people like us have to struggle a lot abroad. I'm hard-working, but I crack under pressure. I don't think I'll be able to cope in a foreign place by myself. I like the comfortable life I have here. Yeah, the education system sucks, but I have my family, I have my identity here, I know  this country. Over in America or Canada, I'd know no one, I'd have to figure everything out by myself, I'd have to struggle with fitting in, living conditions, food, and other expenses that I wouldn't have to lift a finger for in my country. Geez, I sound lazy. O_o

I admit, I am lazy, but mostly, I'm afraid of change. I don't have to take huge responsibilities in my country, but if I go abroad, I'd have to be extra alert and stuff. What if I lose my passport? What if I get into trouble over there?

What if I'm completely miserable? 
DarkAngel123 DarkAngel123
18-21, F
Aug 9, 2010