How Do I Continue In This Relationship Or Do I End It.


 

Hi my story is probably like so many others but here goes. I have been married 23 yrs for the 3rd time. 56 yrs old and feel like we are on different pages. I dont know how to get us back together or even at this point if i want us to get back on the same page. Family has always been important to me. We have 3 children, and now 2 grandchildren. The only child that will visit us is our youngest and only because dad has the purse strings so to speak. He has already said once he gets on his own he is going the way of the older 2. which is non-existant visits. I am welcome anytime but he is not. He is very controlling and as young adults in their 30s now they dont want Daddy controlling them. I am getting to where i really dont like him at all. I have been on Zoloft for 10 years and suddenly he demands that I get off it cause it is a crutch. I know it is not, it enables me to get thru the day dealing with issues. My primary doctor and counselor both say he is the one that needs help. He refuses to see a counselor. I need guidance as do i continue trying to make this work or just give up the ghost. any comments welcomed.  i have traveled all over the country with this man for his job.   i have no family near me, i am lost and that is how i feel.   my husband is controlling, tells me when i can go to the doctor and when i cant.   this isnt right.   I just dont know what to do.
margeinthurmont margeinthurmont
56-60, F
3 Responses Jul 15, 2010

I hate to say it , but this sounds like an all too familiar story. Biggest difference is that I am male and (I will admit) a bit of a control freak. I got married late, in my forties, and thought this would be great, since I waited. Problem is my wife drank herself into a liver transplant over the last several years. Because of that, I feel some of the control issues are justified seeing as to how she would never take responsibilty for things. I'd come home from work and food would be burning on the stove. I would get calls from the schools telling me I had to pick up our kids when they were sick, a 30 mile drive, because my wife didn't answer the phone. The list goes on. After the transplant I thought things would improve. Instead, they have gotten worse. All of our family troubles are my fault and I have been forced out of the house. I haven't seen my kids in a month (and they are not adults). Yes, I made a mistake and lost my temper. But why do I have to pay so much more for one mistake then she has for years of drowning in her disease. It is hard to forgive when I put up with so much crap over the last several years and now this. Anyway, thanks for listening :-)

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please help