When Does Life Get Better?

I am a 29 year old college drop out from 3 different universities from the suburbs of pittsburgh. I graduated high school with a 4.30 In terms of my upper level academic career, I have attended the University of South Carolina Columbia. I went for a year with a 3.85. My parents declared bankrupcy and i had to leave.

i then attended penn state main 4 years later (because i had to pay off USC). My loans covered my tuition, but not rent and food. Evidently...I could not afford that either and returned home to the suburbs of PA.

Finally, at age 26, I used my academic excellence and my ambition to matriculate into the ivy league u of Penn in philadelphia. i did great there. i found a job that paid my expenses and my tuition was only 3K over psu. When i left to attend Penn, my mother (and my best friend) was diagnosed with throat cancer. She had a year to live. i had to make the decision to pursue ivy league excellence or stay with her. After so many failure in the past, i decided to go and call my mother everyday (her and my gift to her -a cavalier king charles spaniel named Abigail) In case you are wondering...i did very well at penn.

The time came; however, when i had to be back home with my mother for over 2 months. i didn't care about school or rent....nothing. i was there when i needed to be there.

After her death, i went back to philly. 2 weeks later, i moved back home to pittsburgh. i had lost my best friend and jeopardized my education.

Recently, i have lost my job and acquired ovarian cancer myself. it is good timing because not i have a govt opportunity in my field of study 1400 miles away. i will take Abigail and my dad's 'death" present to me --the Pug dog he bought me. My dad knows me well. if my mother died...get christin a puppy and she will be happy. For that i am grateful.

new job! great. Cancer! not so much. lots of academic debt? even less appealing.

All in all...i am trying to reach out and accept god and jesus into my life again; however, due to everything (and i didn't even write half of it), I'm given up on faith. I don't know how to get it back. Ultimately, I don't know if am worthy of getting it back. I abandoned god a long time ago.

Any suggestions?

upennbell upennbell
Aug 5, 2010