Life? Love!

After learning the hard way to love myself and accept myself, from growing up and going out in life with an affective void, low self-esteem and unable to understand and accept my sexuality, for living to fit in and to please others because of fear of rejection.
All this and getting hit by life and hurt from others had made me very much tired, overwhelmed by life and exhausted, i have no strength to make a difference and lost my will to live.
I came to finally understand and realise that im a woman in a male body, not that i want to look, be or act like a woman but i always wondered what it is to love and be loved.
Its difficult and complicated since i really don't consider myself as being gay and im attracted to men, so it is almost impossible to be able to love.
I have been alone for such long time that im used to it, but sometimes i just wonder about loving and wishing to be able to experience it at least for one day so i can die knowing how it feels to love and be loved like that.
Thanks for reading :)
Golden9 Golden9
36-40, M
1 Response Jan 9, 2013

You will fall in love one day, have faith, pray and wish very hard and it will happen......

nice of you, thanks much, made me smile inside.