What Is The Opposite Of Two? A Lonely Me, A Lonely You.

Hi everyone,

Well, from where to start ... too long and painful life story ..

Sometimes  deep inside me I feel like I want to die younger, I had enough of everything, i have been everywhere I wanted to be, dated all type of girls  I wanted starting from models to next door neighbor girl ... sweet girls to ugly *****... like we say ...  been there , done that and I have a T-shirt.

I am 31 years old and I have been working in 7 different countries, I speak 4 languages fluently, I work in the oilfield business. I had enough of my life, from the outside everything is perfect , part of 3M club , Male , Money and Mobile , single dating every beauty you pass by , money never was an issue , what the hell do you want more ?  do I really want that ? did I enjoy it ... NO ... I lost pleasure in everything ... because the person whom it was , it wasn't me ... 

I quit recently my job, my friends told me I am crazy, I quit them too... I went back to my parents house, been 2 months now, I am doing nothings the whole day ... just reading books.. watching bits of TV or movies ... just wasting time, I want to go to the basics, find my self , who I am? the one I lost 10 years ago ... 

 I want to fall in love, I want someone to share my life with without boundaries or any discrimination, I want someone to explore the romantic person deep inside me... I am tired being alone and the worse when you are surrounded with people who enjoy your company for any reason...

Momo1978 Momo1978
31-35, M
2 Responses Feb 10, 2010

Absolutely agreed to BuildingNothing Out Of Something. I feel the same now with my ever stagnant work and loveless life. I freeze all the priorities and began to seek the ones that are missing in my life - LOVE. Is that more significant or getting better job is? In both situation I am alone.

I don't have the same life or the same specifics, but I understand this whole thing as if I'd written it myself. Exactly the same feeling about life. Nothing really matters, and the only thing that could possibly matter seems forever out of reach. I've been there for most of my adult life. It makes it hard to hope for anything different, even though it sometimes randomly happens. And when it does, it's tough to trust that it will last for long.