Yet Another Thing.

You know, I don't even know why I write this ****.  Nobody care, nobody reads it.  I guess the anonymous forum of experienceproject is better than writing this stuff on a social networking site where my friends can judge me and think I'm crazy.  So, anyway, being fat...yeah, it sucks.  Sadly, I can't be just happy being a fat slob on the couch playing XBox.  I have to try to go out and be active and try new activities in which I fail and fall on my fat ******* face.  Paintball?  Nah, just a moving target.  Cycling?  Hell, I actually found a bike that can support my 6'6" 320lb frame and can't really ride it, as my weight causes my hands to go numb.  I thought maybe paddling would be the thing.  Searched and searched, found me a good rec boat.  I have fun with it in the lakes and such but have a hard time finding friends to paddle with.  My best friend, who nobody can seem to find fault with, gets a job at a kayak manufacturer and loe and behold, hes a natural.  Great, something else hes better at than I.  (See, folks, fat people aren't jolly, we're really cynical and we secretly hate how all of our not fat friends live normal, great  lives.)  So he paddles with me a few times in the lake and then moves on to whitewater boats.  Now, get this, I actually find a boat I can squeeze my fat *** into.  Amazing, right?  I, of course, have alot of trouble adjusting to the boat.  See, this is because everything is more difficult if you are fat.   So I've done a few rivers and I admit its not been all bad, I've had some of the best experiences of my life on these rivers.  However, I am too fat to get the rolls, braces, and such to work for me.  So I get to bail out everytime I turn over in a river while my buddies roll gracefully and then have to wait on my fat *** to get to shore, drain the boat, get back in, and join them until I mess up again.  Up till today, I have tried my best to keep a good attitude about it but I can't anymore.  Tried yet again today to get my roll down at the lake, failed each time.  Came to realize my stomach is too big to get into the right roll position.  There we go, something I love to do turned into a frustration because of my fat.  Lets pile this on top of the fact I can't even get a woman to look at me, plus torn cartlage in my knee, and it results in a person very tired of being fat.  Now, heres the clincher, I can't get the damn discipline to diet.  Its sad, because I dont really eat that much I just eat badly.  Hell, my job is very active, I lift, pile, and move boxes in a 90 degree warehouse all day.  You'd think that would slim you out, but I guess not.   Hell, at 31, I'm too old to lose weight gracefully anyhow.  If I dropped 50 or 60 pounds I'd still have the sagging skin, stretch marks, and so on to mark that I'm still a fatty on the inside.  Theres my story, doubt anyone cares, doubt anyone wants to read it.
Wulf420 Wulf420
26-30, M
Aug 9, 2010