I can't take this weight anymore.
My parents are constantly bugging me to stop eating and making stupid comments on how I look bad.
My fiance says I'm beautiful and sexy but I can tell he's less attracted to me now that I'm fat.
It doesn't help that his friends and sister keeps telling him he deserves a sexy girl.
I'm just so sick of this.
I need to give my wedding dress measurements in 4 months! The seamstress said I'd never lose the weight in a year!
Looks like she was right. I'm just so sad. I want to look good.
How am I going to have sex for the first time in my wedding night looking like this?!!!
My fiance is such a faithful guy! He deserves a hot version of me! Not this!
I'm embarrassed to look in the mirror.
Just went to the doc too and apparently I have some weird thing with me that makes it harder for me to lose any weight.
I told my fiance and I could tell he was thinking :excuses:

I just wanna be skinny. Tired of puking and binging and never losing weight.
I'm 21. I know I'm young....but I feel like I never had that "hot teen" look. And I'm scared I'll get old and not lose the weight...
Then I'll never look pretty. Ever in my life. It makes me feel so sad.

I'm angry! I remember my mom used to tell me to diet when I was like 9 and I never did. She said I'd end up gaining weight and then end up with saggy boobs and regret it my whole life. That's exactly what happened. I feel so embarrassed of my breasts and now they are ****** up for good. All because of this stupid fat. I hate fat! have it hate it!

I feel like just killing myself. I see how people look at me and make fun of me. I'd seriously rather not be alive.
I just don't kill myself because I don't want to see my fiance and parents hurting.
But if I had a choice, I'd choose to never been born. Better than being fat.
querosermagra querosermagra
4 Responses May 11, 2012

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I was never a hot teen, male, when I was young as well. Always remember one thing, you have a mate. You are attractive enough to have a mate and that is all that matters. I could not attract a mate if my life depended on it.<br />
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I say just get your wedding dress and do all that as you currently are. Then spend the next year or two losing weight and make it so people wonder if you are the same person that your fiance married.

Don't give up. You need to gain control over food, stop letting it control you. This is something I have struggled with my entire life. I have been overweight since I was a child and suffered ridicule from my family because of it (although at the time they chose what to feed me..) It's not easy but once you realize that this material substance (yes we need it to live, but it is an ob<x>ject) is controlling your behavior, feelings, really everything in your life. Try fruits, vegetables, whole grains, protein, and lots of enjoyable forms of exercise. I lost 65 pounds in 5 months from doing this. I included a lot of swimming and also took natural vitamin supplements (whole food vitamin, vitamin e, calcium). These vitamins helped give me energy as well as the nutrients derived from the food I was eating. Make it a point to shop weekly for fresh fruits and vegetables instead of buying crap that has a shelf life of forever. Those are nasty processed foods and will only add fat to your body. Exercise really is the only way to get the results you want. You must learn to accept your body for what it is and train your mind to become the person you want to be on the outside. Best of luck, msg me if you ever need to talk!<br />
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You are worth it, and you will get there if you strive to be.

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