Can You Relate?
I grew up a big kid I'm norweigan and we are all big boned. I went thru many years being tormented by the bullies at my school till one day I just snapped and beat the hell out of one of them. They must exchange stories alot cause none of them ever bothered me again. I was still way selfconsious about my weight and would not get over it until I went in the service and was pretty much forced to lose the weight. After leaving the military I started to gain again and leveled out around 250 which was not really a bd weight for my bone structure. I was heavy but as folks said I carried it well. I still felt like a blimp and was very self consious about it. Life went on I got married and as time went on I got what I call the ten year creep. Thats where ya gain about 10 lbs a year until you wake up one day wondering where you went wrong! I woke up about 35 and dropped 70 lbs over the next year and kept it off for the next 9 years somehow. Oh I went up and down but it was fairly stable at around 225lbs. Still big but tolerable for me. Depression was always a bad deal for me and I had been being treated for years for it. Well somewheres around my 45th birthday my body decided it was time to rebel and all hell broke loose. First of all my thyroid decided to go ballistic on me and I gained 170 lbs in like 6 months. Now just to help you envision what thats like go pick up your spouse and put them on your shoulders and walk around all day. ITs horrible! Legs give out cant do the simplest tasks with out resting if I can do them at all. Well I had no idea what was going on and so I just went on trying to get a grip on my weight thinking it was just middle age. I know dumb! This went on for around 5 years and the whole time of course my health was deteriorating. Diabetes set in and COPD. congestive heart failure and a few other things thrown in for good measure like high blood pressure cholestoral problems etc. All these things combined was just too much. I really was ready to check out. Didnt want to die just didnt want to live anymore.During the 5 years I also went thru a terrible divorce and lost everything I owned. Talk about depression. Well I figured I would have a drink or 50 and fell into the bottle. That worked well cost me a great job I had worked at for 10 years. Got me a DUI that cost me about 10 grand to rectify Well life is good at this point! NOT! I was at the end of my rope. I finally gave in to my girlfreind and headed for the hospital. I'm not saying I was in bad shape but it took the emergency room doc about 10 minutes to admit me and get me on oxygen. Your blood oxygen should be around 92-95% and they told me mine was somewhere around 65-70% Like I should have been dead? In 24 hours they pumped 15 lbs of water off my chest cavity around my heart and legs. And started running massive tests on me. Well that was 4 years ago and I'm still here! Still very heavy but working on that. I have to be on oxygen at least 12 hours a day but with the proper medication I'm doing well. I'm at least living a somewhat normal life! So for you folks out there feeling down and that your all alone. Your not and there is always somebody that has or is going thru as much or more than you are. You can never give up! Life can be good again you just have to want it. Dont be afraid to open up and tell the folks here whats up with you thats making your life suck we can help!