Being Fat...


i'm 18 and i weight 265 pounds

it is utterly humiliating.

i'm so ashamed of myself

ive never had a boyfriend or anything, i never went to prom, or any school dances, boys never talked to me


everyone thinks its just easy

"diet, exercise"

i cant afford all the diet food

and i want to get out an exercise

i want to soooo bad

but i just dont feel like getting up a lot of the time

i suffer from depression and its not always so easy to get up and do things.

it sucks

im sick of it

i just want to buy the cute clothes that other people wear.. and look good in a swim suit...

and have someone tell me im pretty

i want to do stuff with out worrying about if im too fat for it

im so embarrassed of my weight, and i want to change it, and i just dont feel like it

its such a terrible feeling =[


cryssyx3 cryssyx3
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 20, 2009

Hey, before we go any further I want you to know that I'm not "spamming" you. I actually took the time to type this and not just copy and pasted <br />
<br />
it from another site. My name is Jeremy Skatzes and I'm an independant Beachbody coach. What that means is I'm in the buisness of sharing my <br />
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story (health & fitness) with other people of how I lost 150 lbs and steady losing and motivating others to do the same. I'm not sure if you're <br />
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even interested in your (or someone you love) health and fitness, but I figured I'd present this information to you and others who take an <br />
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interest in losing weight, getting healthy, getting off meds or even working from home. So the following links just direct you to my personal <br />
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<br />!/profile.php?id=1467684439<br />
<br />

I know what is like to suffer from depression and obesity, it is indeed one of the most horrible thing that can happen to someone. <br />
I've battled with weight all my life as well, however, being a dude, I probably had it easier than you girls. I was always big for my age, but in school I played quite a bit of sports and luckily I was at least with the cool guys and werent abused much due to my physical prowess. But I tell you, its **** being around all these other dudes who are ladies man, while I struggled to even get a girlfriend. I graduated college and end up putting on even more weight, until I reached 300lbs in my 5 10'' fr<x>ame. <br />
I was suffering from depression, drug abuses, obesity and a string of other problems. I felt my life slipping away from me, and all these problems seem to just put me into a vicious cycle of getting high, getting drunk, eating shitloads and feeling useless and guilty afterwords. I know, I know, it sux so bad doesn;t it. <br />
What made me finally get off my *** and do something about my weight is still largely unknown to me. I just woke up one day and said to myself, this can't go on anymore, I must take control. Of course, darling, you are fearful to go workout, you dun want people judging you becoz of your weight. You look around your shoulders constantly thinking if the guy behind you is ridiculing you because of your fat. You feel your insides ripped apart when someone gives you 'one of those smug looks' and you know exactly what they are thinking 'geez how do ppl get so fat'. It was awful. Everytime I wanted to workout, but everytime it was like the battle of the sommes with my desire to lose weight and my fear of being ridiculed. But sweetie, seriously, once you establish a habit and start seeing results, no one can stop you, NO ONE! Belive in yourself doll, understand that you are beautiful, but that beauty is hiden away by your fat on the outside and by your insecurities on the inside. YOU and only you alone can change that. If you need any motivation or help, feel free to PM me, I am now a Physical trainer on the weekends so I have plenty of tips for weight loss for you. I understand the mental, physical and emotional aspects that comes with weight. So realize that you are not alone, and you can find plenty of support as long as you r willing to stretch your hand.

I have always been a big girl. Now I am a big woman. I am not as big as I was a few years ago. It was terrible growing up fat. I was teased and I hated my body. I had low self esteem and depression. Then one day something clicked inside my head. I was like....damn girl you look good. Yes, things still are not like I would have like for them to be but I have learned that I am beautiful and I do not need to conform to society's defintion of beautiful. I think we should try to be heaalty. I am overweitht but I do not have the medical problems that usually comes with obesity. I might if I do not continue to loose weight. I have learned taht if I do not love me no one else will. It did not come overnight...feelng like I like myself. It was work. I got treatment for depression and I see a counselor and I work at keeping myself up. I get my nails done and buy myself something that I like. I do it because it helps me to feel good about talking care of me. I hope things look better for you.