What Its Really Like For The Fat Girl....


Most people will never understand what it’s really like for someone who carries extra weight around with them their whole lives. I am prepared to share the complete, brutal, admittedly terrible truth with anyone who will listen to me on this day. Allow me to answer: “What is life really like for the fat girl?”   We can begin with the most obvious…appearance. You stare wistfully at your reflection in the mirror. No matter which angle you turn, you just don’t quite look right. The features on your face, no matter how beautiful they may be, are dwarfed by the extra fat you carry in your face. Your eyes, which may be wide and lovely, look small and particularly deep set in your skull. Your stunning high cheekbones; hidden in totality by the layers of tissue covering them. Your chin; pronounced, is a buoy floating on the sea that is your double chin. You can apply makeup, and help make yourself look better to a certain degree, but you know that no one is going to compliment your shade of lipstick today. The rest of your body is a mishmash of lumps and bumps, protrusions and strange angles that you know you simply cannot hide, regardless of what you wear.   Your desperation turns to panic as you raid your closet and realize that you have nothing decent to wear. Your panic escalates to heart failure as you remember that you won’t be able to find anything to wear…ever. The pants you own hug your belly, butt and thighs as if the cloth itself were holding on for dear life. The shirts you don only seem to accentuate your spare tire and bring attention to your ever-expanding waist. You realize this is as good as its gonna get and vow to avoid mirrors for the remainder of the day.   You leave for work. As soon as you exert yourself in the simplest way you begin to leak copious amounts of sweat from pores you didn’t even know you had. You are constantly plagued by this problem, and try to move as little as possible, because you know if you do, you’ll start to sweat again, and everyone will see it. If the bathroom, supply room, lunch room, whatever is downstairs you will put off going for as long as possible because you know that the simple climb up those stairs will cause those telltale beads of sweat to form along your brow…the one’s that scream “Look at the fatty, she cant even climb a flight of stairs without breaking into a sweat!!!”   You eat your lunch. Regardless of what you decide to have, you know that people are silently judging you. Salad or pizza, everyone is either thinking, “She should NOT be eating that” or “How pathetic, like a salad is going to fix THAT problem”. In addition, you struggle with your own guilt and self-loathing. If you pick the salad, you will be tortured with the smells of that penne a la vodka wafting off your friend’s plate. If you pick the pasta, you beat yourself up and don’t enjoy a single bite of it. Either way, you loose.   You go shopping. You dare not even attempt to walk into most of the stores in the mall. You have tried it before and were immediately put to shame by the disapproving glances of the sales people or your fellow shoppers. You realize that the largest size they carry is a 12, and since you are a 28, there is no way that is happening. Sadness overwhelms you when you realize all you can buy in the vast majorities of stores are socks, shoes, and earrings. You make your way to the “big girls” store and walk in, shameful, hoping no one saw you. Your heart aches as you ponder the wares being offered to you. Bottoms that are ill fitting and make you look twice as heavy as you are. Tops that are just as ill fitting that make you feel like you are wearing a garbage bag with holes cut out for the head and arms. Everything offered is in garish colors like lime green or neon pink. The materials used are cheap polyester blends that just intensify your own body heat and will make you (surprise!!) sweat like a pig. You may find a few items that could potentially look OK on you and you say a prayer as you take them to the fitting room. As you try these items on you are not surprised by the result. You look fat…and the clothes only make it that much worse. Of course you need pants and sweaters, so you buy the closest thing to “ok” that you can find. Naturally you pay more for these items than your thinner counterparts because the stores know you only have one or two retailers to choose from, so if they charge 60.00 for a pair of basic black slacks…you are gonna have to pay it. No $10.00 items for you fatty!   You go out with your friends. While your thin girlfriends get drink after drink bought for them, you bear the shame of reaching into your wallet over and over again. While they attract positive attention, flirt shamelessly, steal kisses and get numbers you hover near the bar, pull at your ill-fitting clothing and wish you were invisible. If by chance some guy happens to pay you some attention you now its one of three things…Either; the guy is not someone that you would want to be with, they are super drunk and rocking beer goggles, or it’s the work of the super hot guy who is trying to bed your thin friends wingman. Sure, it could be just a guy who likes bigger girls…but come on, who the heck are we kidding?   You know deep down that you will never attract the kind of guy you would want to be with long term. That perfect guy, who is fit and handsome, has a great job and a great personality, who is funny and witty, who has great friends and a great family, who you would be proud to have on your arm and who will treat you right. That decent guy is out there, and although he would never be mean to you because he is far to kind, and although he would never poke fun at you because his mother taught him good manners, and although he may buy you a drink because it is the polite thing to do…you know that he will never turn to you, gaze into your eyes, kiss you softly and tell you that you are “the one”. Why? Because he is not attracted to you. Sure, you can get a guy, get a date, get someone to take you home…but is that really the guy that you would pick if you could pick anyone? The answer is NO. Let’s be honest.   You live carefully and are forced to ponder and worry about things your thin counterparts give absolutely no thought to. When you take a ride in a friends car you worry that you will not be able to fit in the backseat, and if there are others riding along, you worry you will squish them. The idea of getting into a two-door cars backseat terrifies you. How will you be able to get in and out gracefully? You won’t. Period. Going to a movie theater or a show strikes fear into your heart because you know you will either not fit in the seat or will be squished into discomfort taking the person to the right and left to the same hell you will be visiting thanks to your encroaching fat. Getting on a plane makes you nauseous. What if the airline decides you need two seats? What if the seatbelt doesn’t reach? What if you cant fit in the seat? Let’s say all goes well and you are not asked to pay for another seat, you cannot mistake the looks of disgust and anger on the face of the guy you are sitting next to. You knew what he was thinking the entire time you walked down the aisle…”Please don’t let her sit next to me…please God”. Then you sit, you buckle your belt (if lucky) and then are embarrassed by the flight attendant who makes it a point to check your belt just to be sure you got it on. She checks you because she figures you weren’t able to buckle it. You can’t fault her for doing her job, but your face burns with shame for the rest of the flight.    Then there’s your health. Your knees creak under your added weight. Your feet swell and throb due to the extra pressure placed on your feet. Your back hurts all the time because of the extra girth you place on your poor vertebrae. Your skin expands and is ruined by silver gray streaking stretch marks that tear through your pink flesh as if being done by an invisible ripper. You suffer through pimples, blackheads and boils that form in the places where your fat rubs together over and over again. Your inner thighs and underarms are stained permanent brown due to the fact your skin has thickened thanks to the constant friction. Your blood pressure is above normal, you are pre-diabetic, and your cholesterol is sky high. Of course even if you are able to kid yourself into thinking you are “totally healthy” you cannot deny knowing that if you stay at this weight you will NOT stay that way forever.   Your friends and family are supportive and you know they love you but they will not let you forget, not even for a moment, how much weight you’ve gained or how much better you would look if you lost some weight. You know they are right, but it still hurts when they bring this up. You feel inadequate and useless. You try to fool yourself into thinking that its ok to be fat like this. You read up on sites that proclaim “FAT? So what..?” and study sites that rally for fat acceptance. You hear people that look just like you proclaim that they are happy with their weight, that they love their bodies, and that they wouldn’t change it for the world. You listen to them say that society is the problem and that others should be more tolerant because we are all meant to be different. You pump your fist in righteous indignation and agree with them, heck, you may even truly come to believe in their bylines. However, there is always a part of you that knows that what you are is not accepted, not natural and not attractive. You know, deep down, that you are the problem…not everyone else. You also know that if a magic potion were offered to you that would melt away your fat and make you lean and toned you would take it without hesitation. You also know that all those “fat acceptance” people on those websites…deep down…would too.  

This is the reality of being obese. This is what it is like. Maybe not everyday, but just enough days to make you really seriously consider becoming a hermit. 

nomorefatty nomorefatty
31-35, F
62 Responses Oct 24, 2009

I happen to be one of the few men I know who prefers overweight women. There are limits, I'm sure, but my likings have always run large. It may be more of a matter of disliking what I consider to be unhealthily underweight (I find it actively displeasing), but there it stands.
However, each woman must make her own decisions within the realm of possibility.

Your article is the truth.The cold hard truth.I am overweight and I don't need to write my weight, height etc. to know i am fat, in fact i avoid the scale at all costs. I avoid clothe shops tank tops, even dresses all this most skinny people will never understand... sadly

Totally agree with all u said unfortunately

I wasn't always over weight. It's only been the last 3 years that I became a fat person. My now ex husband cheated on me and that set off my eating myself up to a tight size 26. I didn't want to believe that the greatest love of my life had cheated and no longer loved me. Our life was super happy and busy, we had a nice house, good jobs, future goals to achieve together, but all of that changed with his infidelity. I couldn't forgive him so I left him. Trying to make the "hurt" stop, I began to over eat things I normally wouldn't such as large plates of pasta and loaves of bread, loaded with butter, at every meal. This caused me to eat even more by adding huge bowls of ice cream, and I no longer went to the gym. I pretty much gave up my very healthy lifestyle for pure carbs and somehow, for a while, these high fat, high carb foods, made me feel much better. As time passed, I went from 5'8" 123 pounds with a super flat tummy, to 288 pounds with a huge barrel stomach in less than a year and a half. I look like I'm 18 months pregnant, let alone 9 months. My entire face changed, my pretty blue eyes disappeared into my face, becoming slant like, due to all the fat pushing on them, my already full lips now look like I've had them injected with something, making me look fish like. My cheeks are "rosy" all the time, even without makeup. Due to my current weight, no one notices me anymore. That's the thing with being super fat, despite our size, we become invisible to people. They just stop looking your way unless they're the cruel types who just want to make fun of you. I went from being almost every man's dream girl with a perfect figure to the fattest woman I know. None of the strangers who disrespect me in public know why I'm fat today, nor do they care. They just know that fat people should be unseen & unheard in their tiny little minds. Most of the people who have been cruel towards me have been men. I've had men say straight to my face, while I've been out in public, that I am a fat pig and how could I live this way? I even had a man in his 30's call me a "b i t c h" just because he couldn't fit between me and the check out line at the grocery store. I'm not a b i t c h but he felt because I was so fat, he could forget his manners, and treat me like I was trash or something. If any of these cruel people knew me (3) years ago, they'd all be super jealous and so below me. I recall never being able to go anywhere without both men and women checking me out with total envy on their faces. Now, no one looks at me. I am well educated, I am tall, have lovely, long hair, and I am well spoken due to my classical education. I am kind to people and animals, yet it's still not good enough because I am fat. This world really does only care about the "beautiful people." It's not laziness making me stay this way, it's cruel human nature that I have now witnessed first hand. Why get skinny again only to be with stuck among these shallow humans who try to pass themselves off as decent people? I've seen the ugly truth and when I look in the mirror these days, it's not me who's ugly, it's them who can't accept me at this weight. How sad for all of us in this terrible situation. I hope we all can find our way back to the gym and do it for ourselves, not for anyone else.

I just wanted to say that eventually those women who are thinner than you will get ignored too, when they start to get older. I'm kind of going through it myself - getting older sucks, you start to become invisible. At least if you have some extra weight your face looks a bit younger.

Sweetie I been there too, my whole life l was in the obese category. l always felt like l was inferior and put up with A LOT of bullshit l shouldn't have. Abuse from people, particularly men, and just generally letting people treat me less than respectfully because l felt being fat made me less than human. It sucked to always feel like the invisible fat friend quietly fading in the background while all of my other non fat friends were living it up. If l ever made conversation with a guy while out they would usually just ask who my friends were that l was with. It's incredibly painful but it build character, at 24 l decided **** THAT l got down to about a size 5 (skinnier than all of my friends by the way) and started living my life the way l wanted. It's crazy how things change, you suddenly feel more comfortable demanding more respect and people gravitate towards you for it. A lot of my friends were happy for me and supportive but some distanced themselves, to them it meant they weren't pretty anymore if l got more attention than them. That's their own insecurity, this will probably happen to you too but **** them, you spent all those years being their friend when you hated yourself **** their feelings. l know that it seems impossible in the dark moments but you can do it sweetie start slow, remind yourself that you are worth it. Don't spend the rest of your life unhappy in your own skin. You can do it make everyone who hurt you sorry they ever did, live your life to the fullest potential. You are capable of great changes you just have to stay focused and consistent

The story of my life. What others don't get is that it's hard to live the life of a fat person. Though I am not wanting any pity or making excuses, I think it's important for people to understand that most fat people didn't get there on purpose. It started from some type of problem or hurt and pain. We didn't just wake up one morning and say "oh I think I am going to make my life extremely difficult and become fat". No, it happened overtime and in this world we are constantly reminded that we do not belong. This which is not needed at all. We are all very aware of it. Intil they are in our shoes, facing our problems they have no right to tell us what we "should" do.

I, too, feel this way. Other people just say "well do something about it!". Don't they understand it is just not that easy or we would have done it by now? I don't even bother buying myself new clothes very often because I feel like I "don't deserve them". I stay in the house as much as possible. I am everyone's good friend-men love me, but only as the sweet woman who they can tell their girlfriend problems to. I am so sick of this, so sick of living like this, so sick of trying and failing....I am just giving up....

You CAN do it l was a size 18 and went to a 5 you just have to suffer for it and that's the truth
You're worth the pain **** the bullshit you deserve happiness you just have to be willing to sacrifice

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself.... work for it.... work hard untill u achieve the body u dream about every day.....

Hey...it's not that easy pal. This is a legitimate medical issue, not a case of someone just feeling sorry for herself!

Few cases are because of a legitimate medical reason. Very few. I have never read someone on the internet accepting they are fat because they eat too much, but my real life experience show me that's really the case. Too many excuses.

Ever herd of water fast go for it...........

Everything is exactly as you described. Exactly. :(

I swear you must have me as a twin. The only difference is I have many medical issues on top of the weight that I feel most days I feel there is no reason to get out of bed.

You made me LOL! I'm not sure if this is a sarcastic piece or not? Very well written! BTW, there is a greater cost to make larger clothes due to yardage, which is passed on to the consumer. That's why all of the clothes on etsy.com are in extra extra small sizes that no one fits in.

Hi I can help u of u want?


My name is Andre' and I am NOT a robot.
I became a member of this site to share with all I can an easier, healthier and
affordable alternative for you to look, feel and live better. I used to be overweight so
I am familiar with how that can make one feel at times. I'm not trying to sell you on
anything....I'm just showing you a door you could possibly walk through to change your life and stop feeling any negative way that you may feel.

See For Yourself

Get started today and register for more information:

[of course insert a . where (DOT) is]

Seriously this could be what you have been looking for...sounds corny...but I'm
dead serious.

Happy Friday!

I honestly thought that you were inside my head while writing this. SO TRUE.

I got chills reading this because it is eerily similar to how I feel on a daily basis.

Wow, I am in tears.... its like my brain is obsessed with being thin. And the harder I try, the more fat I become. I am glad to know that everything I am going through, someone else is too... I am on a diet, working out and I am so frustrated... I feel like its going no where and I feel like something is wrong with me. I am miserable either way...

Wow that was pretty accurate for me. Except i dont generally tend to notice myself in the mirror on a daily basis. It is more like every few days i catch a glimps and am like 'oh right huge fat ***...got it' it just becomes so much a part of who you are if you have never been any other way. The older and bigger i get i realize how much it is and has stopped me from living life. I get bursts of motivation to change to a healthier lifestyle and then one day i find myself back at the beginning somehow...it is a vicious cycle. Thanks for sharing.

And lets not forget the humiliating split and rips in the clothes when you simply set or the swishing sound your pants make when your chub rub gets in the way (always). And even after serious diet and exercise you only gain weigh becoming more depressed. I am the smallest in my family at 214 believe it or not I have an older sister and my father that are in the 400's not to mention the rest of my siblings 250 and up. A lot of people don't believe genetics is an issue, not sure I agree I just wish one doctor would make a serious revelation in this field......one can dream right? Sometimes that's all we have.

That made me sad, but I think at any weight it's rough. Skinny is bitchy and fat as lazy. Nothing ever wins.

the only thing i hate about my fat is when my thighs rub together and wen i go to a bathroom stall to pee and the stall is too small then my wide saddle bags touch the walls of the stall and it is hard to put my panties down

Reading this was cathartic....<br />
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I love how people think that being 25 pounds overweight for a time in their life is 'being FAT'<br />
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I'm sure relatively you were fat for a time but this is CHRONIC obesity and it isn't something that just disappears! I would LOVE to be 25 pounds overweight! That would be awesome! I was 60-70 pounds overweight and I looked amazing! I would love love love to have that body back, let alone 25 freakin pounds! Not to mention....I have NO IDEA what it feels like to BE what I will call, "down to weight"<br />
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I have NO IDEA what it feels like to walk down the street, into the library, down the halls of university or into the grocery store without feeling like people are judging me. I know it's all in my head...and that is a huge part of it but seriously....<br />
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It's painful. It's super duper painful...I wonder what it would feel like. I wouldn't have all of these hang ups haunting me and infesting my relationships because of my messed up self image. I truly agree with everything in this post! It's exactly the way I feel and people who think it's as simple as just "changing" something are naive and insensitive. Being fat INFESTS your life...every part of it...different degrees for different people but yeah...complete infestation.<br />
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I can't stand people who say "if you want it bad enough you'll do it"<br />
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Does anyone know how much dedication and focus and concentration and humility it takes to actually change your ENTIRE life? Food is life. This encompasses your life. You have to change everything. FOr the most part, fat people have many many many la<x>yers of bad habits! How arrogant of anyone to think it's so easy to change all these habits! Sleeping, eating exercising, even friends and enablers have to change! One has to focus on it constantly. Especially if you really enjoy food...even good food.

Yes. Just... Yes. I'm seventeen years old, and about 220 lbs at five feet tall. I don't know how I got this way. It's just always been. When I compare my eating and exercise habits, etc, to people I know, I don't understand. I have a sister, age thirteen, who is a few inches taller than I, and close to 100 lbs lighter. She eats constantly, a lot more than I do. I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I knew what it was like to look normal, but I don't. I think I have a serious food addiction. I'll have fantasies about fattening food. After a long, hard day, I will come home and drink cheese sauce out of the jar. Yes. It's all that makes me feel a little better. And it's not like I can stop there. I just keep going and going. I've come to the conclusion that it might just be worth it, something I can accept. I wish I could just be normal for a day, just to see what it's like.

Excuses excuses and even more excuses.

This was so inspirational I was so feeling your pain..I have the same feelings..could not have said it better.Thank You...

i know exactly what do you feel. loosing and then regaining weight several times is so painful.every body around me think it is so easy to loose weight and keep judging me for being fat.

Some of it is mostly true what your saying, I mean for the most part I myself want to loose weight and get healthy because being obease is not healthy no matter how many people want to spin the same ol line of "being stick thin isn't healthy eather!!" I cant stand when people say that, its like are you serious? what is that even supposed to mean anyway? that being thin is not healthy eather I should just stay 2 tons of fun! <br />
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its not a nice feeling to go into clothing stores and feel the only thing your intitled to buying is accessories, I have a very lovely man in my life, however it took me a very very long time to be lucky enough to find a good man who loved me for me. Men were just not attracted to a a fat woman and thats the damn truth, people can say its pesimisstic, people can say its not true but its BS, it is true....It has nothing to do with "if ya only had confidance" ...maybe it will come off as i'm a big shallow ***** but im a realist....when is the last time you heard a gal call the guy from "Mike and Molly" sexy???? nope me eather. It's not attractive being that fat...just today i seen a woman in a local store who was so damn fat her face looked like droopy dog, her eyes...you could hardley see them in her face due to the buildup of her huge face. and her belly was hanging out of her shirt. I looked at her and did not feel bad for her...the first thing I thought was "please god, give me motivation to never get that disgusting" her face and her huge body made me want to persue a healthyer life cause to be honest I would rather kill myself than live like that! maybe that makes me a horrid and shallow person but I do not care.

Thank you for sharing this. I cried a little reading it. I was very overweight for a while, and I still struggle with weight problems. Your words...they just got really deep inside of me. I seriously wish you the best of luck.

thank you for that. I wanted to comment on your opinion of your thin girlfriends not having to worry about finding "the one" - I am five feet, 7 inches and 130 pounds, a perfectly average weight, you can take that as thin or not. I find it incredibly difficult to keep my spirits up about love, I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not exceedingly ugly. Even as a (relatively) thin person, I still face much difficulty trying to attract guys. I'm also a recovering anorexic/bulimic, so I understand the whole distortion of food/indulgence problems food presents. It really is a battle, isn't it?

thank you for that. I wanted to comment on your opinion of your thin girlfriends not having to worry about finding "the one" - I am five feet, 7 inches and 130 pounds, a perfectly average weight, you can take that as thin or not. I find it incredibly difficult to keep my spirits up about love, I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not exceedingly ugly. Even as a (relatively) thin person, I still face much difficulty trying to attract guys. I'm also a recovering anorexic/bulimic, so I understand the whole distortion of food/indulgence problems food presents. It really is a battle, isn't it?

I think you should look in the mirror and smile just for the simple fact that you have helped so many people, both thin and overweight, by writing this. Me being overweight myself, I know first-hand how it is to have one of these days, many, enough to wish I was invisible with every step i take. But admitting I have a problem was my first step to recovery, Reading this post, was the next. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Very well written, you should try to get this published! You have a lot of talent!

Very well written, really enjoyed reading this.

It's like your inside my head. Thank you<br />
<br />

Your story is brutally honest and well written, and quite frankly could have been written by me 8 years ago. So if I may take the liberty, I will continue where you've left off (my younger self). The pre-diabetes crosses boldly into full on Type 2 Diabetes. Suddenly you are having days of feeling like you've been hit by a truck. The doc's diagnose you and throw insulin, pills, glucose monitors and a tree's worth of information leaflets at you. It's a mass of information and almost too much to bear. But you try to take hold of your new found disease and control it. But old habits die hard and the struggle continues despite your new knowledge of what can and will happen to your body. After a few months or more of denial and non compliance, **** starts hitting the fan. You start feeling really sick. Suddenly those sores that have always cropped up under your fat rolls take on a new more life threatening meaning because now you are diabetic. Healing is slower, infections take hold easier. You develop complications from the diabetes, for me it's kidney issues. My kidneys hurt everyday and everyday I have to wonder if they've failed yet. I'm poor so doctor's visits have to be rationed and the waiting and wondering is torture. Slowly you work through the denial of the diabetes and start regularly taking the meds, avoiding the wrong foods, try to diligently incorporate exercise and learn more about carbohydrates than you'd ever want to. The weight won't come off, your doc's best solution is to have a Lap Band put in. This terrifies you because of the complications that you know about, not to mention the fact that when you're so poor you can barely get by it's just not an option. If some may say it would be a life saver, worth finding the money somewhere somehow, sell off everything... I say I already have just to pay bills so for me the choice is death if that is what is coming to me. I have no options, no money, no prospects. I am just prodding along doing the best job I can of what I'm supposed to. I'm 31 years old and really don't expect to be long for this world. So I can sing the song of the "fat girl's life" all day long. I know it well and have been singing it since I was age 9. All the pain and struggle that you wrote about still happens, now it just comes with add-ons that drive you to madness more than sadness all the time. On a positive note, I did find a man 13 years ago (when I was in one of my overweight but not obese periods). But honestly it wouldn't matter with this man. He can't see the fat, he only sees the soul. There truly are men like this out there I swear it. He's a good man who loves me, supports me emotionally through all my trials, and enjoys just being near me. I also say with full certainty that he is quite handsome as well. We will have our 11th wedding anniversary next month. Who knows, if I have my way, maybe I'll be on here in another 8 years adding a happy ending to all this. Keep the faith girl, most times in life that's all we got.

First of all, I can understand to a certain point, and then there is the point to where no matter how hard it is or how terrible it can be, you have to love yourself more than you expect others to love you. You have to accept who you are embrace it and then go about the long path of changing the things you dont like about yourself. This is coming from a 299lb female. I am on the long hard path to taking my life back. Now, those of you who get upset and leave angry comments because someone points out the other side of weight, then save it because I have heard it all. I am obese and I am a fighter. I gained so much weight and it was because I ate food, did not exercise, and thought that weight loss was a miracle that only certain people who are lucky enough can achieve. NO, if you don't have some terrible medical anti-weight loss condition, then you and I are fat because we eat way to much and don't do anything to stop it. I will not blame society for how I feel, however I will say there are some insensitive ****** out there who need to stop being ******. But I can't control what anyone thinks about me all I can control is what I think about myself. Yes, I am fat and I am not going to call myself disgusting, or nasty or sweaty or ugly I will let the ****** do that for me. Why should I look in a mirror and call myself the same names that we fight so hard to stop other ****** from calling us. This make no sense to me that there is a fight for fat acceptance yet fat people look in the mirror and call themselves fat all the time and say horrible things about themselves then expect others to accept us. I know that no matter what my mirror show, I see me and that is a beautiful human with a kind heart , but I also see someone that needs to loose weight and get healthy. My goal is to get off hypertention medication, the CPAP machine, and cut my risk of diabetes out. This goal will only happen if I continue to stay focused and eat healthy. You have to choose this, no one not even those that love you can fight our food addiction. Life is full of choices and I promise you every dime I have that no food will jump in your mouth without you putting it there. This board is not just about enabling the addiction. Yes, a sad story is a sad story, but what about the tough love. I needed tough love and I still get it. You over eat, you get fat and it will not miraculously go away on it on. No matter how you write your heart out, no matter how you cry, no matter how kind your are, if you do not take your life and your fat into your own hands you will always remain fat. I could not ever be that miserable and just live that way. There is a life outside of fat and I want it, bad enough to say no to my bad habits and yes to a new way of life. It depends on how bad you want that life after fat. You can continue to share sad stories on fat boards and gain fat friends or you can continue to share sad stories on fat boards, gain fat friends and take charge of your life. IT IS OUR CHOICE, OUR FIGHT, AND YOU EITHER FIGHT !!! Please don't tell me a 299lb woman I dont understand, oh yes I do, but I also understand that I want a life free of fat way more than a life of venting of fat boards and way more than a life of stuffing my face. For those that say that it is emotional eating, I agree. So, now when I feel the emotional eating about to hit me I stuff my mouth with fruit until I have eaten all the emotion away. So, you see you can still feed the emotion just feed it with the right foods. I am not an expert on dieting or which diet will work all I know is that I got tired of being fat to the point I decided to do something about it.

You described my life, and all of the feelings that go along with it. I cried as I was reading this post, it hit way to close to hom. wish people understood, and could look beyond size.

Good story, oh the pain of being fat really is hard. I remember hiding when I was out in public if I saw people that I knew. Totally agree with the part that some fat people are perfectly happy with theirselves, and they're just as healthy as a skinny person. They may have gotten a clean bill of health from the doc for now, but it will catch up, and they can't honestly say that their body's aren't hurting from hauling around the extra weight. I wish that more overweight people would get real with themselves like you have.<br />
It does bother me when overweight women say that they are "real women", instead of fat, because thin people are real women too. Some over-weight people will claim they're happy like that, but I'm pretty sure all of them would like to lose some weight. They might not need to be thin, but I know that they don't want to be fat. Again, thank you for sharing, and I hope that you can find a "happy" place inside of that fat suit that covers your internal beauty.

You story was very heartfelt and honest. I like that. I'm sure that a lot of "Women of Size" will be able to relate. Your story was very tought provoking and insightful. Thank you for sharing!

this is a very realistic and heart-wrenching story of the pain that larger women go through constantly. I can relate to this as I too am an overweight female. I agree with previous posts that everyone should read something like this, to get an understanding of the hurt that people can feel.

what a true, heartbreaking and wonderfully written story

That was pure, I thank you for sharing.

Hi<br />
Being fat sucks.. I am so tired of it... I have tried a million different things and I think I have finally found the key to losing not only my fat thighs but my overall body weight. I purchased a home body wrap, like they use at the expensive spas. It is really easy to use, and boy did it work. I went from a size 16 to a size 12 by using it just three times! I continue to use it once a week, and now my size 12 pants are beginning to be to big! YEA. I have tried EVERYTHING, but this wonderful wrap has given me the kick start I needed. Now I just do some light walking and I do watch my diet, but now the inches are coming off like never before. You will be pleased and surprised.. I know I was! go to: fullbody sculpting.com and see what it is all about.... I am glad that I found them... I look better than ever!!I

My reality check was when my (then) 6 year old came to me crying. She said she'd seen a commercial for heart health at the hospital where I used to work. I talked about how obese people have strokes and heart attacks and die from them. It was Mother's Day. I weighed 416 lbs. I took her with me to Weight Watchers. I started losing weight, but more than that, I got healthier. I am still a whopping 250ish. I divorced my ex-husband and married my (now) husband. It's been 2 years this Mothers' Day. It's a long haul but worth it. The weight loss is not as important as regaining my dignity and love for myself. While I have a way to go, I am on my way. Yes, I mess up. But I get around better. I walk and swim on purpose. I do yard work now. What's funny is that I used to be afraid of steps and of falling. Now I can hop up and down steps.. I can climb in the bed of the truck to get lattice and yard things.. I can fit in smaller places. I am not ready for Disney World or riding roller coasters. I have a fear of not fitting or falling out.. but that's a worry for tomorrow.. not today...

Wow. Just finished reading your story and found it absolutely amazing. I can really relate well as much as a guy can. @ two-facedfox I agree with you and most your points but you can't take 2 lines of her entire post and claim that she knows nothing about food. I believe that she used the salad vs pizza comparison to accentuate the despair of her situation. She could have easily have wrote egg whites, chicken and veggies in it's place but then the stark contrast of salad vs pizza loses it's effect. But I digress in my short time being at EP this is by far the best story. It was brutally honest insightful and actually amusing in a way. The only 2 thing I cant believe is 1 that someone who has so much insight into themselves can't find the strength and motivation to lose the weight and 2 how someone so articulate, intelligent, humorous and introspective believe that there is not someone out there to love you for who you are. I hope you find the health and happiness you are looking for. Good luck.

to 2-faced fox (a perfect name for you btw) save your self-righteous preaching for someone who wants to hear it. This girl could write a book about how to eat well, when to eat and not to eat, the different in emotional eating and hungry eating, etc. Do you know why? Because she is overweight and has struggled to do something about it her whole life. She doesn't need your opinion of everything she has done or is doing wrong to help her. When she mentions salad vs pizza she isn't stating that she lives on either one extreme or the other. Not only did you only read half of this post but you didn't read it with comprehension. She used salad and pizza as examples in her story, nothing more. <br />
One thing you obviously don't know about are the many biological reasons that people can be fat. Considder: Cushing's Disease or Cushing's Syndrome - a female disorder involving estrogen and the ovaries causing an overabundance of weight; genetics; micro-genetics; chemical imbalances in the brain that don't inform the brain when the body is "full"; the Thrifty Gene - originated in Neanderthal times and we still have it - don't know what it is? What a surprise. I thought you knew everything. Look it up and get a life.

I only read about half-way but by the looks of it you know NOTHING about food.<br />
<br />
Salad or pizza? For real? A salad doesn't have carbs or fats in it and often lacks protein too. Basically you're eating some fibre and a whole lot of moisture. Of course you are going to be hungry.<br />
<br />
Basically weight control is about eating the right things at the right times.<br />
<br />
Carbs are fuel. Sugar is rocket fuel, your body cannot process sugar without storing fat in large amounts.<br />
Protein is for recovering and building cells.<br />
Fat is fuel too, only high density fuel.<br />
Fibre is good to keep your body functioning at the max.<br />
<br />
So basically what I'm saying is, you'd be better off eating no bread and 4 eggs scrambled with chicken and veggies (about a pound of food) then eating 50 grams of cereal.<br />
<br />
Why? Because sugars make your insulin sky-rocket. Insulin breaks down sugar. Your blood sugar becomes too low because too much insulin was produced. Your leptin (hunger hormone) drops and voilà you're hungry again. What do most people do? They eat MORE CARBS AND SUGARS.<br />
<br />
And so the cycle repeats, adding more and more weight every time.<br />
<br />
The media tells you to be scared of fat foods. That is a lot of bullshit. Yes fried foods are unhealthy and should be avoided at all times. However, eggs, meats and fish contain loads of fats too. Fat and protein are what keep your body satisfied throughout the day. Not carbs, carbs break down into sugars and make you hungry again.<br />
<br />
What you should know and what no one probably ever tells you is that there are various kinds of carbs. There's the sugar, the simple carb and the complex carb. <br />
<br />
The sugar is what your body can absorb EFFORTLESSLY into your bloodstream. Doesn't take time, doesn't take effort. It is absorbed almost directly into your system and most of the time you aren't moving fast enough to burn it before it is stored as fat.<br />
<br />
The simple carb comes from white bread, white pasta and such. This carb is also easy for your body to break down and while not as destructive as sugar, it's still pretty bad and should be avoided. Whole grain pasta and such are better, BUT even these simply contain too much for the body to use up.<br />
<br />
Now we're getting to the interesting part. The complex carb! This is the carb you want. It takes your body a long time to break it down, which results in a gradual release of the sugars within. Eating complex carbs can keep you from getting hungry for hours. These are found in high fibre foods such as oats.<br />
<br />
So next time you are choosing your bread or pasta, take a look at the fiber content as well instead of just sugars and fats.<br />
<br />
There are entire libraries filled with knowledge about all this, so I strongly suggest you read up on it. Being slim isn't hard, but it requires knowledge and regular exercise. Trust me, it's hard at first but you'll feel on top of the world once you achieve your goals. Don't make them unrealistic. Especially don't focus on losing weight. Focus on eating healthy and exercising. Fat loss will follow on it's own.<br />
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I hope this helps you a bit on your way to the figure you want, because your post shows you are very unhappy with your current body. You can look like a model if you put in the same amount of effort. It's up to you what you eat and when you eat it. Don't buy into any of that crap on TV. Toning, spot reduction, muscle isolation and especially those sweaty sauna bands are all a big hoax and these people sell you false hope, not something that will help you.

Thank you for sharing your story. I couldn't have written it better if I tried.

A perfect explanation, that how i feel. I have lost weight and it still hurts to pass by the plus size stores and hear my sisters say "that's how fat you were, that you had to shop here. Now you barely mad it to the regular size stores." Im not seeing I'm skinny because im still overweight and although I actually fit on chairs now, I still feel emotionally drained constantly feel fat, and still feel the disapproving stares of people that walk by me. Yes its true the shame of carrying a body like this its a constant reminder that i will not be able to truellly feel and be normal since although i am on track and still losing weight, it gets hard and sometimes i just want to quit. It's hard but i relate to this alot and i love how you just said what i was thinking. I appreciate you for writing about this, it gave me motivation to not quit because it made me realized that i should keep trying to find myself and not what society want.

I understand your pain. I weigh 270 lbs and am 5'6. In 2003 I had lost 100 lbs by staying focused on doing it for me. I have since almost gained it all back. But today I had a coworker today take pictures of me and when she sent them to me, I had a meltdown. These pix are my motivation and I need to lose the weight for me again and then voe to not go back into my bad habit which came back after I feel in 2005 and broke my hip. (I learned to rewalk and now noone can tell.)<br />
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I had fooled myself because my friends and coworkers tell me how pretty I am. But they see the inner beauty! They see the personality!! It is up to me to mesh the inner beauty with the outer beauty. Your insight is right on point. Not all happens in a single day, but the points-- throughout my life-- I can truly relate. I hope that as you reread your article you shed that pain away. And in doing so, I have faith in you that some of that "pain weight" will come off too. I would love friends to go on my journey and hope you can too!

thank you for having the courage to post this story, i know it couldn't have been very easy for you.

i read through all of that like a good book, <br />
but sometimes it's not so great being thin either, to be honest, i've been both.

Hey, before we go any further I want you to know that I'm not "spamming" you. I actually took the time to type this and not just copy and pasted it. My name is Jeremy Skatzes and I'm an independant Beachbody coach. What that means is I'm in the buisness of sharing my story (health & fitness) with other people of how I lost 150 lbs and steady losing and motivating others to do the same. I'm not sure if you're even interested in your (or someone you love) health and fitness, but I figured I'd present this information to you and others who take an interest in losing weight, getting healthy, getting off meds or even working from home. So the following links just direct you to my personal (facebook,youtube,beachbody) websites. Like I said before I'm a real person and not just some computer generated identity. If you look at a couple of my youtube uploads (more uploads to come, lol) you'll see that. But anyways I'm not asking you to buy or purchase anything just give it a look see and if you have any questions or opinions feel free to contact me. Thanks for your time ~ Jeremy Skatzes<br />
<br />
http://beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/Jeremy77Skatzes?bctid=1861298193<br />
<br />
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1467684439#!/profile.php?id=1467684439<br />
<br />

For all those women of size, I hope and pray you find somebody to love you and share your life - some guys are rather narrow minded in these things but there are also guys who can see deeper, see into your hearts. They are out there - sooner or later, most everybody is wounded in life, and I think if you can look out there and see people who are needy in their own ways, you might find a nice compatible guy. Wish you all the best.

Reading your story just broke my heart, and it hit home with me, I too am a "woman of size" and I've found that one of the very hardest things that large people must learn to live with, is that we become invisible, people look right through you as if their afraid if they make eye contact with you, because then they might have to acknowledge you in some way, this is among the hardest part's of being a large person.<br />
We are a large majority of the American society and yet we have little to no power and zero respect. This is why we reach out to each other for help and support, we need someone in our lives that understands and care's about us, we may be "People of size" but for God's sake we are humane and we hurt and cry.<br />
God bless you all. <br />

Reading your story just broke my heart, and it hit home with me, I too am a "woman of size" and I've found that one of the very hardest things that large people must learn to live with, is that we become invisible, people look right through you as if their afraid if they make eye contact with you, because then they might have to acknowledge you in some way, this is among the hardest part's of being a large person.<br />
We are a large majority of the American society and yet we have little to no power and zero respect. This is why we reach out to each other for help and support, we need someone in our lives that understands and care's about us, we may be "People of size" but for God's sake we are humane and we hurt and cry.<br />
God bless you all. <br />

Very well said KattyLynn. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

About ten years ago I met somebody online with whom I was able to develop a daily correspondence. There was much about her I liked -- some weeks later a trip halfway across the country took place, we met and spent six weeks together. She was considerably overweight but I believed, and still believe, that the most important thing is the inner you. We soon became inseparable and finally almost two years ago, we got married. I could not have found another better woman to spend my life with. Each of us has been in the hospital at one time or another and we have stood by each other. She share a lot of affection and love. Just to let you know that it is never too late - we met in our late 50's, we are now in our late 60's and enjoy our times together and our rare hours apart are enjoyed because we know we'll be back together soon. We also had each been praying for a partner and felt we had some help from above.

CONGRATULATIONS! On finding each other and also for accepting each other, just the way that you are...

I wanted to let you know that I understand what your going through. At least from a guys perspective. I also wanted to tell you that I am a big guy and I like bigger girls. Its easy to find a superficial tart who say the F word all the time. However finding a women of depth and character, who know who they are is much harder to find. Not all guys are looking for a one night stand.

It's to know that there are a few good men left out there...

Oh my gosh! How many ladies just fall in love with you instantly after reading that?! ;-p

I found out an interesting way to lose weight some years ago. I bought a weight bench for $3 at a rummage sale, then over time, I bought some weights to use with it. I had an old book about body building and decided to use those exercises to get my muscles in better shape and feel healthier even though I never developed all that much muscle. I didn't change my diet but just kept working out longer and longer each day as I got in better shape and after several months I found to my surprise that I had dropped some 25 pounds to just about my ideal weight, and without dieting. (Also as I didn't have a decent car to drive to work, a bunch of temp jobs, I rode a bicycle to work, sometimes as much as 20 miles round trip). End result was my resting pulse rate went from about 70 to the low 40's! Later my life changed, I had no place to work out, and now I'm 45 lbs overweight; but I know how to do it now, and it is fun! I hope to get back to this lifestyle.

Bodryn: Although you have had a setback, it's good you have found out what works best for you...

Thanks for sharing bodryn, well done! x

Very true, but girl you can loose it if you really want it that bad.

absolutely true.

wonderfully written and brutally honest. everyone should read this, no matter what size they are.

I understand. I am right there with you. I am impressed that you are so blunt. It is not easy. I spend at least half of my life on diets. I have lost the total weight of two grown men with all of the dieting. Lose then gain, lose then gain. I just try to be as happy as I can be, and though I feel like you, I try to never think about it just because it's so brutal. Prayers for you my friend.

Wow. A perfect explanation. I am not obese but now I can see how obese people feel. You have really opened my eyes. Thank You.