I Am Tired of Being In Pain All the Time
6 years ago I had a bad experience and that had started me on this awful journey of back pain. Before that i never had any problems with my back. I use to be THAT person who would tell people in pain to go to the gym and you should work out and take something that is not a pain med...
I feel like i am being punished for the rest of my life for that statement. I feel horrible as now i know what it really is like... wet, cold days - it takes everything you have just to get out of bed and you debate calling out of work because it is easier than walking outside and shivering and hurting even worse. after long days i don't even want to shower because it hurts just to stand. I have long hair and it hurts just to stand there and wash my hair.
I have had every procedure done from shots to accupunture to surgeries.. none of it worked... so at the age of 35 my fate is sealed and no one understands.. people look at me and say maybe you should get off pain meds.. i am in pain even with pain meds - imagine the pain i would be in without them! And they get that "look"on their face that i just want to slap off of them. That look of oh she just wants pain meds... as horrible as it sounds - i sort of wish they come into my world and be in pain.. and then come talk to me.. so now only two people really know what is going on with me..
I figure now i am depressed... i just sit at home and want to lay on the couch all day... im sad... I wonder if anyone else is like this... and why is this me?? I know what happen was not my fault but after 6 years i am so tired of the pain... ugh!
I feel like i am being punished for the rest of my life for that statement. I feel horrible as now i know what it really is like... wet, cold days - it takes everything you have just to get out of bed and you debate calling out of work because it is easier than walking outside and shivering and hurting even worse. after long days i don't even want to shower because it hurts just to stand. I have long hair and it hurts just to stand there and wash my hair.
I have had every procedure done from shots to accupunture to surgeries.. none of it worked... so at the age of 35 my fate is sealed and no one understands.. people look at me and say maybe you should get off pain meds.. i am in pain even with pain meds - imagine the pain i would be in without them! And they get that "look"on their face that i just want to slap off of them. That look of oh she just wants pain meds... as horrible as it sounds - i sort of wish they come into my world and be in pain.. and then come talk to me.. so now only two people really know what is going on with me..
I figure now i am depressed... i just sit at home and want to lay on the couch all day... im sad... I wonder if anyone else is like this... and why is this me?? I know what happen was not my fault but after 6 years i am so tired of the pain... ugh!
By:
4daises
Age:
31-35
,
Female
3
responses
