Let Down Again

When anyone else wants help they come to me first and I genuinely do what I can for them. But on the rare occasion I need help I am often let down. Today is the final straw - I'm in hospital next week for a knee replacement and expected to be out next Sunday. My in laws had offered to help me and help hubby (who suffers from mental health problems) with child care while I'm ill and in hospital. But last night they called to say that they won't be around for 2days as another of their sons wants to go out to a comedy club. He wants them to stop over to look after his kids. I am so disappointed as I so rarely need help and do so much for them that I did think I could trust them at this time - well I will be hardened next time they want help . I don't think I can ever forgive them for this. Perhaps their other son can groom their dog, give them lifts and do their shopping. I'm so sad that I feel I want to become a user not a giver I feel though, that I'm being used.
Momamoo Momamoo
51-55, F
3 Responses Oct 9, 2011

Sorry to hear that your husband isn't capable of backing you up regarding his parents. My sister went through a lot of what you did and she finally wised up and left with the kids. Take care of yourself and stay strong as it does get better once you make that decision. massage me also if you want to chat sometime

Bless you! Just gathering courage and resources to leave... Just worried about my daughter and the effect it will have on her although I think she may actually be better! Xxx

She will be as you'll be there for her and she properly already has the strengh you will need to make it. Kids see more then we think

Hi Lilly, you sound just like me! Momamoo

I hear you Momamoo!! I know your story all to well, because I am the same way. LOL and every time I am let down, I say never again, NEXT time I am going to say no, NEXT time, i am going to say remember when i needed you and you bailed on me? NEXT TIME its going to be different.....and it never is. Because we have kind, giving hearts. We are who we are, and really, do you WANT to be like them? Im betting no. You are going to get through this, its probably not going to be easy, but you will come throught the other side, stronger and better. I know, I know, I have this comment, you know how they say god never gives you more than you can handle? I say yes, well he must have mixed me up with someone else with the same name, cuz Im not handling this, LOL. But, I do. I have grown up with mental and physical abuse, married an abusive man, because thats all I knew, eventually, I left him, and I raised 2 sons on my own. One is bi-polar, and I cannot begin to tell you how hard that was. I was told he was one of the youngest , EVER diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. He was 9. Since then it is more , i dont want to say common, but they have realized it can happen much younger than they first thought. I was sexually abused twice when i was a child ( by twice i mean by 2 seperate men, it happened more than twice). Anyways, I am rambling, but what I am trying to say is, you will get through this, your family, will be ok, and you will not change, harden your heart, because thats just not you. If you ever want to chat, just give me a message, any time, I will be here for you to talk to<br />
hugs<br />