What Do I Do?

Ok so my husband and I have been together for about eight years now. We had children while we were really young but we did a pretty good job without needing much help from our parents. He has built my mind to be very strong and us together is endless laughter. We were very much in love and our boys are so hilarious to us. Well about 2-3 years back my husband was the only one in our home working and I was at home with the kids. Things were steady and along came hurricane Ike and left us with practically the clothes on our back. We then lived back at the home his father left him where his mom still lived, he decided to buy himself a Motorcycle for his birhtday and a 57" lcd (both financed) without concidering that this living arrangement was indeed temporary. Well I had by then started woking again and had plans to make living arrangements for us. He showed no interest toward this and his views was to stay at home and save money. Ladies I don't know about you, but I would never be comfortable living in another woman's home. I of course apposed this and pursued moving out anyways. He moved along with us of course and actually had taken a big liking to our new home. We started paying everything split down the middle and everything was fine. But every month his contributions got smaller and smaller and he would tell me that he has to pay his motorcycle note, tv bill, insurance and student loan. All bills that have nothing to do with our home. It irritated me but not enough to make a huge issue at first. But as time progressed and I still kept working, gettin home to discover clothes on the floor, dirty dishes, trash not takin out, and all the household bills left to me. It started to make me lose interest in my husband, but not enough to want divorce. It's like one of the main reasons I don't wanna seperate is because I work crazy hours and he is the only one that can have the boys thru with homework and sleep in their own beds by the time I mak it home at 11pm. Oh and gas money at the end of the month because I only get paid on the first. But I wouldn't need the gas money if he was capable of at  least meeting me half way on the bills. I have no problems with sacrifice, but does he? I don't say much about it but he knows how I feel. It is pushing me away.  I need the courage to say somethin because I keep finding myself cheating on him and making time for fun without him. I don't wanna be that person. I really would wanna break up but I am afraid that I would not be able to stand on my own two feet. And to make matters worst... My family always tells me how proud they are of us for sticking together and raising our boys right. But if they only knew the feelings I had about this marriage.

Ashking Ashking
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 7, 2010

I have been married for 23 years to the SAME man. He provides most of the money in the household. I work to supply the family insurance. We had a baby 3 days after getting married. And another one 4 years later. His passion is for drag racing. He has spent so much money on the cars (2) he has bought it is unheard of! My major issue is the money he spends on racing when his family may want a vacation. I have asked him not to spend that much and he does anyway. I have tried covering for him to our family and friends. Making our lives are an American dream. Hard working man, supportive wife/mother, and two precious little girls. Perfect family picture right? Then yes. Now, not so much. I am like you it is almost to the point I am ready for him to pack up and move on. If not for his added income I would send him
On his way. And I won't go toward what happens in our bedroom. I hope and pray we both find a solution that is satisfying to us both!

i hope things get better for you . ive only been mmarried 4 years , <br />
ive had one to last 20 years that one waas abusive . but my new marrage is only 4 years<br />
i do know marrage takes alot of hard work sounds like your going threw the motions of marrage<br />
do you fill fulfilled? have you thought about councling? it may be you have out grown him. <br />
i wish you the best of luck. sometime you have to do whats right for you even if it means eading it. see my 20 year i call marrage i lived with a man i was so in love with he didnt love me the same way i was young and pretty i was his tropthy ''wife '' while he abused me phyisally mentally and sexually , i tryed so hard to make the '' marrage '' work but it took me forever to take off the rose colored glassess<br />
to the world and to the neibours we looked like we had the perfect ''marrage'' but even my family never knew of the abuse till 2001,when i lefted him with my daughter , its hard to do but , his <br />
feeling of what a real marrage was ,was very diffrent than mine . so maybe reexamin how you really feel about why your in the marrage . and who knows maybe you can bring back some love and magic to your relationship. good luck