Yeah, Nice, That's Me

If you ask people who know me to describe me in one word, the most likely answer would be "nice". I have been told sometimes I am too nice. Sometimes I wish I could be mean and say what's on my mind or tell someone off, but I can't. I would feel really horrible if I did. I have a hard time telling people no as well. I want everyone to be happy and a lot of times, their happiness comes at the expense of my own. Being nice is a curse because people who are nice tend to be taken advantage of and get hurt quite often. I have tried to be mean and selfish, but then people get mad and I feel bad and then I say sorry, even when I had a right to feel the way I did. Ugh! It is so frustrating. =S

And what does being nice get me? Not a lot really. I am often forgotten, ignored and treated like I don't matter. Probably because everyone thinks I am fine with it. I'm not. It makes me mad and can hurt. I see other people who are mean and selfish, who use others and treat them badly, being treated so well by people and it makes me scratch my head. Where is karma? I tend to believe it doesn't exist or I must have been one horribly mean person or creature in a former life.

That is my rant for today. Thank you for letting me share. =)
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May 6, 2012