The First Marriage

I lived for years in Italy and had dated a few American girls, then Italian girls. I married an Italian young lady after a year. Her family was all for it. My family was not so into it. I gave my American family up and became an expatriate, living in Italy.

I woke up after 14 years of sexual disatisfaction and though I ahd two wonderful boys, within a year I left. I have been searching for myself and a person who could be my desire ever since. (a number of girlfriends and now in another marriage taht seems now to be going no-where)

46-50, M
6 Responses Jun 6, 2007

interesting way to look at it.

Aloha from Maui...<br />
<br />
I've been married for over 21 years... As a man you should know it's not about you !!! it's about the wife... As long as she gets everything she needs (sexually), you can have yours... you need to allow her to go outside the marrage to explore her needs (desires) and then you can explore your needs... <br />
my wife need's to explore her desire to be wanted as she is... now 47, she enjoys have sex with younger men who enjoy being with an older woman... she likes the way they can stay hard longer and give her the pleasure she desires... the ones who can last for hours, those who can meet her needs... <br />
when she returns home , we talk about the sex she had, that really gets me turned-on and our sex is better... she needs to know that younger men want her (for sex...) And then, there are times when I'm able to go out and explore my desires... with whomever I want... ie... older & younger women, even pre/post op TS... (MtF)... <br />
It's not for everyone, but when your marriage is based on sex and not love, your marriage with last a lifetime...

We're trying to work through some of the ups and downs right now...

I agree - you sign that license and something happens - everything gets so serious and one person seems to own the other to a degree. I tried it twice - also tried living with a person - same thing happened. We get so disappointed and disillusioned. I've been alone for 9 years now - it's got its down times but the up times are great in that you don't have to relate to another person other than in present time.<br />
Still there is that niggling feeling - where is my soulmate?

I have to agree...

Isn't it wierd how marriage seems to change people (sorry ladies - had it happen twice now). I figure that if for some unforseen reason my current marriage doesn't work out (and hopefully it will work out) that i will never get married again - I'll date someone forever - but never marry again.