Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

What About Me

I feel like I have to be what my parents want me to be. What my husband wants me to be. what my kids want me to be. What society wants me to be. I can't please everyone and I'm tired of trying. What about me, what about what I want to do. It's like I always have to be the perfect daughter, wife, and mother.Newsflash I'm not perfect and will never live up to everyone's high standards. I am just me. If you think I have failed you then I'm sorry. I can't be what you want. I just want to be me.
howsab howsab 31-35, F 17 Responses Jul 8, 2011

Your Response

Cancel

Do you know who you are? If so enjoy. If not good luck!

Holy **** thats my life completely!

Why can't you just be a great person and feel good about that? Are the children, hubby, parents and society telling you to be perfect or is it insecurity we all have not to fail at something?

Well said!

the easiest thing to be in the world is you and the most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be.dont let anyone put in that position be yourslef regardless of what anybody around you think

Ok. What do you want to do that all those people would have a problem with. It seems your parents and husband would have your best interest at heart. Your kids ? I would do the right thing and don't worry about what the kids set, you need to set an example for them not cater to them. Ultimately you should have good and noble standards for yourself and try to live up to them. Then you wouldn't be worried about what others expect. It sounds like a guilty concience crying out to me.

Hi <br />
Respect yourself and do what is best for you and not be at the mercy of pleasing others

i am 52 and just now finding out i have a right to define my'self'. I was conditioned (like pavlov's dogs) by the authority figures in my childhood to think and be just like them. (it's handed down from generation to generation... all the function and dysfunction). I read this quote the other day and liked it a LOT! Hope you do too!<br />
"To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best to make you just like everybody else means to fight the greatest battle there is to fight and to never stop fighting “ E.E. Cummings"<br />
<br />
P.S. I am learning that i would rather be and have authentic people in my life. Even if they disagree with me. Honor your'self'.

I suggest you make a list of who you are and who you are not. Write as many entries and pages you can come up with. It is often easier to write what we are not than to write what we are. Take the plunge and compare the positives with the negatives. The result will give you a good picture of who you are. With the new perspective about yourself have a talk with your family and share the good news. IThey should be happy for you and see you in a different light. They may be in pain too. Good luck!

you will be teaching your kids to be liars and hiders, to cover their feelings and to deny their heart's desire.<br />
is that worth fitting in?<br />
imo, you owe all of them you, or nothing.

Have you considered that you are expecting them to be different? It is the nature of relationships that we feel others want us to change. The perception, that others want us to be different, is sometimes a reflection of our own ambiguity about who we think we are...or our own internal nagging self-criticism. Occasionally it is a habit or a behavior that we would like to change but find so difficult, that the smallest comment reminds us of our frustrations over that issue.<br />
<br />
Your commitment to be yourself is the beginning of the path of self awareness. You might keep in mind along the way, that it has been you that has been trying to please others; and that has been your choice. As you change your direction, and begin to become your own person, remember that it was you who put you there, and you who will change it. <br />
<br />
Be fair to yourself and to "them." It isn't all their fault. I would like to assume that, at the very least, these others love you. I think as you grow you will discover that love anew.

There is a simple explanation for it, it's called conditional love. They say they love you for who you are and because you are you. The truth is, they love who they think you are, and/or want you to be, and they love themselves. Pleasing everyone else isn't always possible, and I'm sorry if you have so many people in your life who always expect you to do what they think is right. Don't forget about yourself, if <br />
you aren't happy, what is it all for?

My ******* life story! :D <br />
I've always seen my grandparents as my parents, but...THEY EXPECT SO MUCH. <br />
Become a doctor!- yes, but i have the potential to make ten times more money in the entertainment industry WITHOUT pulling my hair out.<br />
Get married!- well, if it's legal. If a guy gets me first...<br />
Be GRATEFUL- i am DEEPLY grateful. Can i at least get the right to act my age? Can i please go out WITHOUT supervision? I've been sensible despite how turbulent my life has been, why would i get stupid now?

Please check out www.edenjournal.com I wrote an article there I think you will understand...also check out my book...it is to the right of the srticle..My life as a weed...I know you will relate to the subject...It has gotten 5 star reviews and is NOT expensive and only 34 pages...look forward to hearing back from you and your comments...you can also get a better understanding of me at http://www.kjforce.wordpress.com<br />
weed by choice

I totally agree with you. I feel that way sometimes too. Especially in regards to church and religion. I have gone through a lot of emotional pain because of fear of what others would think about me. I have secrets and I knew that if my family and church fellows found out about them, I would "let them down" or something. Somehow that fear became bigger and more important to me than my own feelings and needs. Somehow it resulted in separating and isolating me from the world. It's one of the worst things that exist in my opinion. The bible says tha we shouldn't judge but that is exactly what we end up doing. I don't judge so I don't have to worry about others' judgments. It has taken me a long time to realize that. I'm still learning it.

be yourself... for if someone wants to change you and then love you, is it really love?<br />
<br />
i know exactly how you feel, coz i have felt that i cannot live up to expectations no matter how hard i try ...<br />
<br />
so, it is best that i be me... and others can 'stuff' their expectations ...<br />
<br />
be yourself... coz that is what makes you beautiful in the first place ...<br />
<br />
cheers!

Indeed!