I'm good with words - REALLY good with words.  I'm also good at playing parts - saying what I'm supposed to say and also being what I'm expected to be.  The problem is, I hate being fake - I just wanna be me... and right now, "me" is pretty frickin jaded.  I could talk like the kind, caring person I used to be - but that's not me anymore.  Being kind got me used, and being caring just invited other people to lay their guilt on my shoulders.  I'm sick and tired getting used.  My mom taught me to be that way - to bend over and take it like a prison ***** (male *****, so don't get pissed :P).  I'm done being wrong because I'm the only one willing to look at the other person's side of things.  Look from my perspective, and I'll look from yours - period.

MovingForward28 MovingForward28
26-30, M
2 Responses Mar 7, 2010

Thanks for the advice - I agree with most of it, and the first line you wrote might even have an appreciable effect on the path of my current transformation. I'm curious about your thoughts on dealing with people long-term who don't rant or pout, but instead play subtle mind-games that chip away at your spirit and sense of self without being visible to most people.

In the most charming way, the nicest words and disarming demeanor - say no. Forget making them understand you, just control the situation in a polite way. You get what you want, you don't hurt anyone's feelings and there is nothing fake about good manners. And when someone rants or pouts DON'T REACT. Just smile and watch them as if your watching some homeless guy talk to himself. Ever try to push a boulder? It won't move and its not angry or reactive. Warriors never meet an opponent head on, they parry around them. Also, what you feel when you develop these skills is NOT fake, but the normal awkwardness that comes with learning anything new. Take time to learn some people skills – books abound on the subject. You will be better for it.