Pushed Aside Again!!!!!

Hi

I was just wanting to write this to get out what I am feeling - which might I add - isn't good!

I have been in a relationship now for 4 years and married for 1 year. I have two fantastic kids who I adore and are thankful for them everyday. But I was just wanting to know, how much ignoring, disrespect and blame can one person accept/take from their husband or partner?

My husband has a son from another marriage who is 13. Hes here every weekend. During the week my husband and him communicate, which is fantastic but the thing is, when my husband gets off the phone, hes secretative with things like how he promises his son money, movies, sports events, shopping trips etc without letting me know or at the last minute letting me know? Is this right? Our own kids dont get treated this well. When I confront him about it, he screams at me saying that I am trying to keep him away from his son, that I wont consider him, that I hate his son and I am "nasty f***en B***! Fantastic for my kids to hear that.

Last year I decided that enough was enough, I wasnt going to feel sorry for myself, I was going to study at university, get my degree, while still caring for my kids ft and make a life for myself. I was told by him I am inconsiderate and the reason why our kids are "useless and stupid" is because of me. I just cant do anything right. My studies dont effect him as I study at night when kids are asleep and all jobs done. And thats when he does talk to me!!!  Most of time hes very closed off and doesnt touch me. I asked him about it and he said it was my fault because IAM not affectionate enough towards him and I dont deserve his attention or affection. He also says that why would he be affectionate with someone whos as selfish and hateful as me. HELP ME! I would love some advice from anyone who has been thru this kind of thing or even has a opinion on it. Thankyou and sorry so long!