She Came, She Took, She Left

My husband and I took in a single mom and her eight children last summer.  We loved those kids with all our heart.  It wasn't easy managing a home with 14 kids, but we did it!  And loved it!   We payed her car insurance, got her a trailer to live in, fed her, encouraged her, and payed for various expenses so that she could have her dream-come-true of being able to stay at home with her children and not worry about finances.  But one day, after three months, the mother piled the kids in a car and took off.  Forbade them to say goodbye and has cut off all communication between us.  Just sharing.

36-40, F
6 Responses Feb 7, 2010

Thanks Fractal. It's complicated. She was always a neglectful mother. The kids have been raising themselves for years. And Mom is an obsessive compulsive liar, too. So who knows what she's telling them. She hid them off in a secluded home in the middle of nowhere and cut off communication between them and everyone they know and love. We found her and notified CPS, and suddenly now she's the model mother of the year. Put her kids in private school, etc. We filed for custody in order to keep the accountability/pressure on her to continue to be a decent parent. We did it all for the kids, but I'm afraid the kids will hate us now thinking we're trying to take them away from their mom. Honestly, we know we won't get custody as long as she's behaving. We're just happy she's bahaving!! But I'm afraid they're all going to hate us now because of the lies they're being fed by her and her oldest daughter (another story- she threw me out like trash, too). We risked them all hating us, but it was for their good. But it still hurts.

Well said Fractal :)

The kids will never forget you and the facts are this. It is clear the mother had some type of crisis going on which is why she needed help. However now that crisis is over for her she wants her family back and that day hun was going to come. When you help in a crisis you must remember that people will not say thank you or reward you, I boil this down to the pride element that they are embarrassed they needed support, so they throw it back in your face pretend like you never helped them. But the facts are this, those children had a better life because of you during that time and it would have been much worse for THEM if you had not helped as rude as what the mother did she is not the issue, those kids welfare were greatly improved as a result of your input. You helped those kids the best you could and that is a fact and they have had a better time due to that. Those kids will never forget you but the mother is the parent and her decisions are with her rights that is the way it is. I know I have seen this happen over the long term of 30 years. Don't be surprised if in years to come those kids come back looking for you to say thank you. I know others who have been in exactly the same situation and they have.

Sometimes no good deed goes unpunished. *sigh*

That is terrible!! Wow! You and husband must be some of the few good people left in this messed up world. I have never been able to help people like you have but understand why you feel the way you do.<br />
I really do feel bad for you. I believe in karma and know you and your family will be blessed for being great people one day. That woman will regret what she did. Trust me. You don't do something wrong and get away with it. I hope those babies are safe and well. I know you feel the same way.Sorry for your pain.

I been down that rd before : ( Just know that u will be blessed 4 it.