I'm Tired Of Helping People...

Whether they hurt me or not, I'm just tired of helping people in general.  A 17yo girl lives with us.  We're preparing her for adulthood because her own parents failed her.  This is the second 17yo girl we've done this for.  We also get called when people's cars break down.  My husband goes and rescues them with his truck and trailer.  He also helps them fix their cars.  There's a family down the street with lots of needs.  We've fixed their well, taxi-cabbed them various places, had their 16yo daughter spend the summer with us because she couldn't get along with her parents.  We snow plow the neighbor's driveway, we take homeless people in, and I can't count how many hours we spend mentoring youth who we get to know.  My mom and her husband are in financial ruin, so when their forclosure goes through they're coming to live with us.  My in-laws are broke.  We used to give them money to save their house, but we're not anymore.  We're broke and in debt from helping other people.  We even give cars away to people who need them.  And you know what?  I'm just plumb tired of helping people!  I have my own family to care for right now!  My husband wants to go back to college.  I hope he does.  Because then we can move away and not know anyone, so that people won't keep calling asking for help.

SHWA SHWA
36-40, F
4 Responses Feb 7, 2010

<p>I am a christian. I have always helped other people. I am finding out that some people look for people like me to help take care of them. I have helped my neighbor for about seven months now. Her bills would average about 1,200 dollars a month. I helped her find three part time jobs so she could take care of her own bills. I have been helping her since June of 2012. When I would help her I would see her with new clothes, going shopping,and coming home on the bus with shopping bags. She does not know that I have been watching her. I had to literally tell this lady to start paying her own bills because you can do this now. She did not want to take the responsibility for her own self. I did this because she would be evicted by now and on the streets. I even went to court with her and paid almost 1,400.00 to keep her and her furniture off of the streets. I totally gave her responsibility back to her as of Dec. 2012. Now I don't want to see anyone coming with hearts and flowers stories anymore or I will take off running on these old arithridic knees. I know what the bible says about helping others. I am just so done with this. Please dont beat me up for being nice. I have learned my lesson.</p>

I know exactly how you feel and feel the same way. I've helped people all my life and I'm tired of it. I'm not doing it anymore. I've helped family, friends, my daughters friends with a place after being kiced out in severe weather. I've helped co-workers, strangers and foreigners. People come to me all the time, what the what? Do I have "ALL DAY SUCKER!" stamped on my forehead.I've been hit in several car accidents consecutively, 2 recently within 4 months of each other, I'm suffering from severe bilateral carpal tunnel and have no help or support from any of these people. What a CROCK!. 11 years of bad luck, debt and being taking advantage of,I've spent 401, college funds, savings, pawned everyhting and don't understand what the hell I'm doing wrong.So, I'm changing my life and cut everyone off, I have invested in myself and I'm in school to obtain a BS for a new career, I have lost and losing everything from this economy but had a little left over to invest in a new class for "HOW TO BE A B****H! this summer and its worth 16 credits.Only do for yourselves, I am.

Goes to show don't try to be decent people within indecent times.

You're allowing the help you provide for others to erode deeply into the quality of your own life. It's no wonder your tired of helping others. Another thing is you and your husband seem to be doing things for other people that they should be doing for themselves. The reality is, there's an endless supply of people in need and there's only one of you and your husband. You can't do it all, but you can do some of it. Try to achieve some balance here.