It was supposed to be my safe haven. After my fast paced life, after three years of residential treatment, after the drugs, sex and rock-and-roll. I am a lesbian and I am proud of that. I am different than most people, but at the same time, I am much more simillar to the majority of the population than most would think. Unfortunately, the majority to my mother are the home schooled, naive and religious stiffs. After the catholic boarding school where I was forced to turn my back on everything important to me with the justification of "it is not right, you are not gay and you need to walk in the light", I lived a couple months at home, was kicked out of the house and returned only to be put to work to pay my parents for living under their roof. So when the time for me to go off for college came around, I found myself at the most acclaimed catholic university in the country. It is full of those holier-than-thou catholics. In mass all you see is a war of who can raise their hands higher, who can sing and cry louder. And the glares and stuck up noses when you walk through the communion line with your arms crossed. I will not receive communion because I am aware of the churches standings on homosexuals. I am living honestly and humbly in a faith that was built upon honesty, humility and love for your neighbor. While the ones trying to be the best catholics around are defying everything their faith teaches. And this is how I lost my faith on top of everything.