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Not Even Married

but I am drained by my bf's family.

I feel so sad, they are so judgemental- they are not very obvious about it, but it is there- I have never experienced a feeling like this.

I am not perfect, I have had probelms in my life- I struggle with health issues, and was out of work for a a few months, and they see that as a weakness. I am insecure, and trying to be stronger, but they seem to lack a basic compassion. My family has totally welcomed my bf, he never had to go thru any f---ing initiation process.

I know this seems like a pity party, maybe it is but I just had to vent. I am absolutely drained and I wish I could STOP CARING.

I don't expect everybody to love me, but this totally sucks. ugh.

 

violett8 violett8 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 28, 2009

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Hi, thank you.



It has gotten progressively worse- their behavior, and my ability to cope. I have stayed, so at this point who can I blame? I made a decsion to not spend holidays with them, and though he has gone along with it, it's come with much drama. So that even though we aren't there, I feel as though we might as well be. Since this past christmas, I have taken a downward spiral, and it may not all be due to this, I think it mainly is. I don't understand why I'm doing this.



I really thank you for your insight, and your comment came at a good time. I have to decide. Thank you so much.

The truth is, your family accepted him because they love you and you gave them to understand how much you care about your guy--so they treated him well. What did HE say to HIS family?



The truth is, when anyone associated with our boyfriend/lover treats us badly, it is the same as if he did it. If he had given them to understand that you were precious and that he expected them to be friendly, they would probably not act like this. And, if not, if they are just unfriendly people, he would not subject you to their presence in your life.



Ask yourself, would you put up with your family making him feel bad? Would you accept your family being snotty and disapproving over his struggles in life? Why does he? And, if he expects this relationship to evolve into a marriage....how would you like these folks in your life acting like this from now on, regularly, every day?