Tired Of It.
I am tired of searching for a job. I've had a vocational specialist who has been trying to help me find one for the past 2 1/2 years now. But all I've gotten out of numerous applications is one job interview last August. I have absolutely nothing to put on a resume. Even though I'm 28 years old, because of my agoraphobia & social anxiety, I've never had a job before. The reason I'm tired of searching for a job isn't that I'm tired of waiting to get one, but because I'm terrified that one of these days, I will get one. I know I will not be able to handle it. My vocational specialist even had to go in to the job interview with me because I was too scared to do it alone. Even a part time job will be too much for me. In January of '09, I started college. I took another semester, this Fall. I was too afraid to even leave the house to go to school two days a week & had to withdraw from both of my on campus classes & could only finish the online ones. If I can't even leave the house two days a week, to go to a place where there is little to no social interaction, how am I going to leave the house all the time to go to a job, where there is going to be MUCH more social interaction? I have no idea. I know I'll get fired because I won't be able to go & then all of this time job searching will have been for nothing. I love my vocational specialist. She's a great person-- the greates I know, probably, & I don't want to let her down. But I know I will.