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Tired Of It.

I am tired of searching for a job. I've had a vocational specialist who has been trying to help me find one for the past 2 1/2 years now. But all I've gotten out of numerous applications is one job interview last August. I have absolutely nothing to put on a resume. Even though I'm 28 years old, because of my agoraphobia & social anxiety, I've never had a job before. The reason I'm tired of searching for a job isn't that I'm tired of waiting to get one, but because I'm terrified that one of these days, I will get one. I know I will not be able to handle it. My vocational specialist even had to go in to the job interview with me because I was too scared to do it alone. Even a part time job will be too much for me. In January of '09, I started college. I took another semester, this Fall. I was too afraid to even leave the house to go to school two days a week & had to withdraw from both of my on campus classes & could only finish the online ones. If I can't even leave the house two days a week, to go to a place where there is little to no social interaction, how am I going to leave the house all the time to go to a job, where there is going to be MUCH more social interaction? I have no idea. I know I'll get fired because I won't be able to go & then all of this time job searching will have been for nothing. I love my vocational specialist. She's a great person-- the greates I know, probably, & I don't want to let her down. But I know I will.

lyricalongings lyricalongings 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 22, 2010

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Please don't feel alone, I know a few people that have social anxiety, one is very close to me, a relative, and I know that it can prevent you from leaving your house, prevent you from attending social situations. You should be proud of yourself that you are seeking help and guidance from your vocational specialist. Social anxiety is a real problem, don't let anyone tell you its not real & to snap out of it. I sympathize with you. If your medication isn't working, maybe m.d. can prescribe another one. Maybe you can work from home, like a telemarketer position, or maybe a type of job or office that only has a few people in the office, a quiet place, not too busy. Sorry college didn't work out for you, but maybe you can take classes on-line. I've been looking for a job for a year now, but my issue is I've been a stay at home Mom for many years, & I've been told my experience is "old." I check Craigslist every few hours for new job postings, and the Pennysaver on-line. It's very frustrating and depressing. Keep looking. I'm sick of looking also. I've had about 10 interviews & applied to 75-80 jobs. My age might be an issue also. You're young, so you've got that going for you. I know I have to keep looking. Somebody has to offer us a job, the one that fits. Try not to get discouraged. Take Baby steps with everything you want to improve.

Wishing you luck, happiness, & calming thoughts. :)

Thanks for your comment :) I hope you're able to find a job. In my case, I wrote this 2 1/2 years ago and a lot has changed since then. My vocational specialist and therapist convinced me to apply for SSI, which I did. After 23 months and one denial, I finally started getting it in June. It's great to finally have an income and also medical insurance. It's not much, but better than nothing. I still hope to work someday and am still taking online classes. I hope to become a librarian and hope I will actually be able to handle a job once I get the degree (which will be many years from now because I'm still working on my associates and it requires a masters).

Hello again,
Sorry I replied 2 years later! I just joined site & didn't look at the date.
I'm glad things are looking up for you & you're finally getting some income, that helps. A librarian position sounds like a nice calm atmosphere. You're young, you'll get there! Keep up the good work!

Thanks :) I hope you like the site :)

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I'm not sure what anxiolytics are, but I'm taking an anxiety medication right now. I've been taking klonopin, but it isn't doing much good. Certainly not enough to help me leave the house all the time & have a job.

Hello lyricalongings. I know it all too well. I think that social anxiety is a deeper issue here than job. If it is just anxiety than there are anxiolytics, they are designed particularly against it. Sorry if this sounds too shrewd.