Every Day

There is some form of threatening behaviour or yelling or screaming.  I have only recently started yelling/screaming back.  Before I would curl up into a ball and just cry until he would leave.  Now I am filled with so much rage from all the **** he has put on me that I am scared that I will do something really bad and end up in jail and ruining what chances I have at a free and happy life. 

We have to remember a very important part to living in America (well i have to remember it anyway)..."the pursuit of happiness"

Goshdarnit I am free to pursue happiness that is my right.  I think I'm going to sue him over it.


But yes screaming sucks.  It's just as bad as hitting really.  It really destroys...peace.  It chips away at your soul.

~just so you know you're not alone
SteenaBeana SteenaBeana
26-30, F
4 Responses Jun 13, 2007

I don't know what your situation is, but i understand for i also live in a very bad situation with my husband. It got to the point where I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I am so angry at him. He tricked me in the marriage, thinking that i can not get break free of him. I am leaving him in few months and he does not know it.

I have only been married for a year, but my husband and I seem to have developed that pattern. At first, I was frightened by it and I would cry and cower or leave the house. Once I left in the midle of the night without any shoes or anything. I was just so scared...I grabbed my cellphone and car keys and left. <br />
But then I just got tired of running and now I stand up to him and I shout too and dare him to just hit me and get it over with...(crazy, I know)...but in the moment I just refuse to get bullied and I lose control too. <br />
<br />
I hate that I am using the same tactics I hate in him, to defend myself...

I agree with Marji. Find methods and tools to deal with this situation - yelling and screaming are symptoms of a loss of control - not normal and DEFINITELY NOT HEALTHY. <br />
I recently played golf with a guy I thought I respected. My eyes went wide when he threw down his club on the seventh hole, then he stalked off in disgust after the ninth. Hell, I've only just started the game, but I'll be d*mned if I'll let it take over my sanity. Later I suggested he take St Johns Wort (an herbal supplement) for his temper; I do and it works. He just looked at me funny. Later still I learned he abuses his wife & kids. I sure feel sorry for them . . .

I am not sure what your situation is, but I hope you can change it and make it better for yourself. It sound like you are not happy where you are right now.