Too Big For Him

I have never been a tiny woman. I have always been on the curvier side. when my fiance' got together my freshmen year in high school, i weighed 175. over the years, i have put on an excessive amount of weight.  I know i can't blame anyone but myself, but a lot of it came from stress from living with my mother. (pushed me into collage 2 days after i graduated from high school, taking my money, never wanting to cook so no groceries were bought, so all there was to eat was fast food)

Now that I am living with my fiance', I am living a much healthier life. i get out more, i eat right, i always eat at home, and I stopped drinking any soda all together. I have lost a total of 15 pounds since i moved in with him in december, but that is not enough.

My fiance has always said that he loved my body, and that i was skinny enough for him. But for the last month or so, he has been so distant from me, and has been telling me that he wishes that I was a smaller size. when we watch TV, and a woman in a bikinii that is a size 2 shows up, he looks at me and pouts, and says "why can't you be like that".

I feel so horrible about my weight. I don't want to die early because of it. I have tried about everything, but nothing seems to work. I also have a hard time sticking to diets. I need help to lose weight. I get married in october, and i want my high school body back beefore then. I want to make my fiance proud, and most of all, make myself feel better. Someone, anyone, help me out.

pandapandora pandapandora
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 13, 2010

Love your name, I collect pandas. If you're guy is bugging you about the weight and not helping you slap the **** out of him and tell him why you are that way.

I totally agree with you Jack. Panda if he isn't supporting you or helping you in someone to lose weight and is complaining about it you guys need to have a serious talk. He has no right to complain if he isn't doing anything to help you.

I have not seen too many size 2 girls that don't have a boyish figure. I'm not knocking size 2 women in the slightest, mind you. Everyone has a type. I have never dated a size 2 girl, I think the smallest size girl I went out with was a 10, & that was back in high school. I have always been attracted to girls with curves, I just find it more feminine, that's all. Your fiance should love you for the beautiful girl God made you. I'm sure he does, he wouldn't be your fiance if he didn't. Congratulations on the engagement. Be comfortable with yourself, always. Good luck and God bless.

I agree with tambow. You are doing all the right things. Love yourself first. If you were 175 in highschool (which is NOT fat) then chances are you will never be a size 2. That is ridiculous. How many size 2 women are there anyway? Be your beautiful self and if he pouts that he don't like it, tell him he is free to go find a size 2 beauty -chances are he wouldn't- I bet in no time he will be loving your size whatever (doesn't even matter) in no time again. Maybe you should see a muscle bound man and exclaim-wow! Why can't you be like that? Then say, oh well it doesn't matter, its your heart & mind I love. Maybe he will get the hint. If he doesn't give him a good smack in the head when he says something like that again!

I think darlene makes an important point. You will probably NEVER be a size 2, and even if you could get there now, you probably could not get there and maintian it in a healty way, without a constant struggle, and in 20 years, 30 years, and a few kids later, forget about it. Your natural size and shape are not your fault and you can't be at war against it for the rest of your life and still be happy, especially if you are doing it for somebody else. I would also say that his preference for a size 2 is not his fault either. He did not choose his preference for a size to any more than I chose my preference for a size 20. Nor can any of us change those preferences. You might be able to pressure him into hiding it better, but you can't change it. This may sound very harsh coming from a complete stranger, but you two will never be completely happy with each other. We all deserve to be with sombody who genuinely appreciates and desires who and what we are. He should go find himself the size 2 of his dreams, and you should find a guy, not who can "look past" your size, but who actually appreciates and cherishes your curves.

Thank you so much for your words of kindness. I really needed it. Much Love!

Girl, you should NOT be ashamed of yourself. You are making healthy choices and taking a step in the right direction. Congrats on your weight loss! If you are going to lose the weight, do it for you. Do it for your health. Don't try to lose the weight for someone else. If you guys got together while you were at 175 lbs, he has seen what you have gone through. He should know the reasons behind your weight gain and make positive, encouraging comments to help you lose more. That's what you need. What you don't need is him to make the comments that he makes. When he says, "Why can't you be like that?", tell him that God didn't make you like that. Another thing, do you ever think '"Why can't HE be like that?" You love him for who he is, flaws and all. He should love you the same way. Love yourself, honey.