Loving Too Intensely - Is It Possible?

When someone invites me into their life and I invite them into mine, I assume that the friendship is given from that point on. Or if it is love, that there is an unstated agreement that we'll take it further.

When I love, I love with all that I am. I want that person to be happy. I will do almost anything for them and this is just my nature. When I am enthusiastic about a friend or someone I love, they are king or queen to me.

Unfortunately, this approach backfires on me and lends them to think that I am desperate and have no self respect. This is not true. The reality is that I'm just very happy that the person is in my life. To me, nothing enriches my life more than another human being. Nothing is more satisfying than having the company of someone I immensely enjoy. I can be rather unmotivated in my life but it is doing something for someone else that motivates me, it is the smile on their face and the reward of helping them, making them feel loved or giving them knowledge that are seeking gives me immense satisfaction. Therefore I seek these types of interactions all the time and casual chit chat is not always satisfying to me. I like to get to know my friends and those I love very deeply. And if I fall in love with someone, watch out, it is intense!
lisa36 lisa36
36-40, F
19 Responses Sep 10, 2010

I find that I am also very intense, I do love so much that it ends up getting so out of hand. My boyfriend is kind honest an really does love me but sometimes it just doesnt seem enough. I am always testing him to see how much he loves me to the point it turns into arguments and I cause so much drama. One day I know he will get bored of the constant stress. Its as if , whoever I am in a relationshiop with , I cannot help but become insecure out of nowhere. I become jealous and emotional and I hate it so much. When i am single I am on form and healthy and just more normal ... and as soon as I meet a boy it becomes all about him. I know its unhealthy and I need to stop.... sorry im a worrier

I really wish I could find a guy who is this intense. In this day and age everything is on the surface, no one loves all the way anymore. I am old fashioned, I want emotional fulfillment, intellectual fulfillment, and physical fulfillment to the point where I don't have any need from any other guy. My guy gives me all and all the way and it is only for me. Guess what, I will return exactly the same if not more. Is there any Heathcliff out there loving me that intensely?

Why are we sounding like WE have the issues. Love in ALL forms is amazing. Plus being able to love intensely is a special gift the world really needs. I for one am happy being an extremely loving empath. And so should the rest of you.

I also am intense emotionally. It's ruined all but one of my relationships. My husband is my ONLY friend. He's the opposite. His love is unspoken yet satisfying to me.

I can't believe googling " I love too intensely" actually led me to someone writing excactly how I feel! Amazing! It totally freaks me out, because people get so scared of being my friend because they feel like I'm way to attached to them or desperate. I'm not desperate, or alone. I just really really love people, and I love them immensely.. I don't know how to change that, how to be something other than who I've been for as long as I can remember? But I really want to keep my friends. Even the ones that are scared.

I am very intense, too. Doesn't help you in a relationship. It can drive the other person away because they feel stifled by your emotions. I want to be with my husband all the time but he needs his space. The other is I am quite happy with my own company and no one understands this.

Wow. You just explained ME to a 'T'... I am the same type of person.. I am a very happy person on my own and have a great deal of self-respect and esteem. I don't necessarily 'need' someone-I'm not desperate either. However, this seems to scare people away as they get the wrong idea. I wholeheartedly agree that you can't always expect others to feel the same way, but why the disrespect? So my question is ... what now?

WOW!! What a beautiful Story and what Intense responses. You have the ones who can relate and the ones who are living the hell because of this enormous overwhelming Love. But rarely do you ever see two of the same together, at least I haven't in the many readings I've done. These beautiful Energies do not understand because they have not walk in the other shoes, or Have enough time for themselves, I believe their are more then one category for this LOVING tooo HARD.. So when someone post a story the ones that dealing with the lower levels of this type of Love, cannot relate, and really their victims instead. I use to have friends like this, they were drawn to me, I am honest and nurturing, and yet need my space. Their lives change from being so needy to actually being needed. I would never throw away a promising genuine Spirit, but Relate and help them to GROW thru their natural Gifts.. We were only teenagers then. Now I'm 39 and I'm married to my best of friend, who has these tendencies, but so do I at some extent. I wouldn't trade him in for the world. Cancer / Scorpio combo. We don't trust too easy but if we invite others in our lives, which we rarely do, because our life is so FULLL, we have lil' ones of our own, and so much to do. There's no time for crying the blues.. We believe that you manifest your own reality. I have so much Love, Because I am Happy. I learned at a early age that this was a problem for many people, I deeply treasure the moments, and would not be categorized as your typical cancer..lol. Many would say. I've always had the gift of walking in others shoes so to speak, my family would say she's "sensitive"... kinda watch what you say.. But they didn't know I can feel their thoughts also.. SMH.. lol. Those were the days, the looks on their faces when I told them were all the kiki's I needed. Most stayed away from me, which I LOVED. My mom told me to be careful, not to misuse the Gift, I explained that they were hurtful, and that I may not be able to pick my Family but I can pick my company. She'd agreed. Brightest Blessings Everyone~

Join the club Hun i have the same issue and every time it kills me :(

This caught my eye and all your comments are very supportive so i need to pkay the other side. I have a friend like this, she is my best friend and i do love her bit i find i have to hide from her during the pms time because she is just too intense and i feel pushed too hard and i start to snap. It irritates me she cant get the hint and back off even with all the signals and kind inquiries on my part to back off a bit. She then has the nerve to bring up the pms while i still tiptoe around the fact that she is really needy. I notice that intense giving people are looking for a whole lot in return and wont stop pushing for it. That makes people back off. I thought about dumping her many times in the past because of this. Since we hang out so much, our cycles are in sync and she is really more needy during this time. Im really tired of avoiding her phone calls because she leaves long messages about what a crazy day she had and "you just wouldnt believe how crazy my day has been! ". I swear i feel drained before she launches into it. Worst of all i know she is expecting a call back to discuss her issues and if i dont she will ask me if i got her message next time we talk and again i feel angry because im dwelling on my own stuff and dont want to deal. There are signs to read that will remind ypu tonstep back just a bit. Its not personal, life is just stressfull and an intense someone next to you forces you to focus it all on that intensity even if they are doing it all for you. I hope this makes sense!

Hi there Hildagard, I myself have just come across this story and love it as I relate to it too in many ways. I do think that your friend sound intense, but intense in a needy way not in a love way. When I love someone intensely it isn't because I need them in my life so much that I couldn't function with out them. I am very independent making me quit the opposite of needy. But my intensity is because I feel like this is how they should be treated by me in a relationship and I like to think that they would want me to feel that special too. So you see the difference in what Lisa's story is telling.

The problem with this is if you are aTrue Friend you would understand her at all times not just when it suits you. We may love too intensely all of the time, but we endure intense hurt ALL OF THE TIME AS WELL.

You need to be honest w/your friend.
100% honesty is welcome. Just be respectfully honest. She'll understand.

It was fantastic for me to read Lisa's story. I am identical to that,unfortunatly it causes me alot of disatisaction in my relationships & i believe it is why they never work out. I feel to relax a little bit more, not feel you have to be in touch with that person every hour or even every day, sit looking at your phone wishing & hoping a text would come through, & being so fraught with anxiety when you are eventually in touch, all of this must cause damage to a blossoming relationship. I'm trying to loosen up a bit.

i too feel like i love and care about others too intensely and it's something i wish i could get a better handle on. it hasn't always produced the best results for me either.

Awww, darlin, I'm so sorry to hear that. Yes, we do need to stick together don't we? :-) <br />
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Love and Hugs to you,<br />

wow i feel like i could have written that story! my husband left because i was too intense and he is emotionaly crippled. we strong loving ppl need to stick together! TAKE CARE

AWWWWW, thanks UnderEli and Hierman. I'm so glad you enjoyed this story and the comments fill my heart with joy. :-)<br />
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(((big hugs))) from Lisa. :)

To Lisa 36,<br />
You are truly beautyfull in every way,you---- LIVE---- you do not just exist,like most people I know,<br />
greetings Hierman

I really enjoyed reading this, Lisa. The title caught my attention right away, as I am practically the same way. When I enjoy someone else's company, whether for friendship or romantic interest, I take it seriously. What you wrote about your willingness to do almost anything for them, and how they become your queen or king, is how I feel as well. I think a lot of people are surprised by my dedication and willingness to go all out. Thing is, it isn't just with friendship. A lot of the things I do, from going to work, driving, my hobbies, and, golly, even housework probably, I throw myself into when I do them.<br />
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You'd think I'd have more rl friends being this way? The truth is I only have a couple. Strange how that is. I'm not crazy about small-talk, although I don't avoid it. I just recognize how false it can be, which just makes it boring. Sharing quality time with someone I like, and who likes me in return, is much more rewarding and enjoyable.<br />
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Thanks again for sharing this story. It left a smile on my face and twinkle in my eye. ; )

Dragonzheart keep it up,we need more pasion and compasion in the world,lets meet we can drive each other insane with TLC

thanks for such kinds words my friends. It's nice to come here and feel accepted for all of my intense ways. LOL