I Want to Be the Only One

I am in denial about my jealousy problems, I can only write this because it's two in the morning. I'm obsessed with people thinking I'm special, but also being the only one they think is special. If someone is giving me loads of positive attention and then does the same to someone else, I hate that other person. There are definitely days where I feel like I am no one's number one priority. I know I can't ask for someone to love me more than anyone else in the whole world, because love must be shared with family and friends, but I wish it was only me.
wanderkid wanderkid
18-21, F
4 Responses Jun 27, 2007

Alot of us are that way. We just won't admit it due to fear of being greedy and narcisstic.

When someone gives me a very strong compliment and then tells someone else something similar, I feel foolish for believing them, especially if they've implied or explicitly said I was the best or smartest or whatever-est at something. Who wants recycled praise?<br />
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I'm my partner's favorite person even though he loves his parents, his sister, his friends, and even his cat. He loves them, but he loves me more. I can be kind of petty about that when someone else gets a lot of his attention. <br />
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I understand what Luci said, but I have a hard time knowing when others need attention more than I do because we can never really know what other people are thinking. Maybe there's someone who'd feel this way toward you now, wanderkid, if only they realized how rewarding life would be if they got to know you more. Maybe my partner would love someone more or as much as he loves me if only he'd meet this person. I wouldn't be able to handle that.

I agree with myspip, we all have jealous tendensies about everything! Its just knowing how far to take it and realizing that others need attention too, sometime more than you.

Naw, we all want to be loved in some ways. But I'm sure one day you'll find someone that has you as the number one :) But you must be prepared to give attention back ;)