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And Then..

If you lose the weight the same people that told you that'd you'd be "pretty enough" when you lost weight get mad and jealous at you for losing it.

I've been on both sides, thinner and fat and you never win.  Makes you wonder why people take so much time to give you advice you didn't ask for in the first place.

 

 

sophique sophique 31-35, F 8 Responses Dec 10, 2009

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This is so bogus - why on earth has your size got even the slightest thing to do with whether you are pretty? Are you saying that fat people can't be pretty? Are you saying that being a thin person makes you "better" than being a fat person? Are you saying that fat girls don't get hit on - hello?! They do, plenty, if they truly believe they are beautiful as they are. What matters is that you love and respect yourself, whatever your size. People who look positively on themselves find love from others without even trying - wonderful and adorable people come in all shapes and sizes.<br />
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The values exhibited by the founder of this Experience Group make me very sad for society as a whole.

Please YOURSELF, be kind and honor your body, it's yours....forget the jealous people, they have their own agendas. (they probably feel pressured to improve themselves but do not want to commit to the work it takes, so, they get mean spirited) Consider it "their problem"

I lost a lot of weight a year and a half ago (have since put it back on :( ) and I felt amazing physically. But there was a part of me that didn't really recognise the 'slim' me and didn't really accept her. My parents thought I'd become anorexic, which is partially true because I had gone off food completely, eating very little but this was not a conscious decision. I didn't have the urge to eat anymore. But I felt physically completely healthy (I was going through a lot of weird mental/emotional/spiritual stuff) and fit and strong and energetic. Whenever I ate - maybe grazing on little bits of food a few times a day or having one light meal a day - it was really healthy, delicious food like elaborate salads with nuts and fruit in them, mostly raw vegetables and things like that. But even though it was yummy, I didn't want to eat much. My parents took me home from college, insisting that I was starving myself, and as soon as I got to their house, I got 'down'/kind of depressed, started overeating and comfort eating like I always used to. Since then, I put back on all the weight I'd been so happy to lose and have trouble eating a healthy diet and looking after my weight and physical body. <br />
I never understood why I was uncomfortable being a healthy weight that time, though. Maybe I was afraid of the negative reactions from other people (even though I got none at all), like sophique says...

I agree with most of you that your size shouldn't make you who you are. But the sad truth is is that people DO judge you according to your weight. Do you think that a fit and active 30 year old male would hit on a female who was 30 lbs or more overweight? Weight is considered "extra baggage" to most people and it's baggage that is optional. I have been on both sides of the spectrum when it comes to weight. I used to wear a size 5 jeans five years ago. Today, I am in a size 17. I am the only one to blame for this significant weight increase. I am the only one who can change myself. Does weight make me who I am? No. Does it have an impact on the way people view me? YES! I can remember being hit on by several people in one day back when I was in a size 5, even on up to 12. It stopped when I reached a size 15. When all the attention stopped, I noticed it! Who wouldn't notice, right. I turned it around on myself and became very depressed and gained even more weight. So, weight does in a sense make you who you are. People DO look past you when you're over weight. They don't take you seriously as a person. I feel like people don't take me serious anymore. I need to get on the health wagon again. To change how I feel about myself. When you live in a society that focuses in size 4 models like they are hot ****, it does have an impact on females and it's supposed too. That is why I shared this experience because I'm tired of people telling me "you have pretty eyes"...Or "you're beautiful, but...".....I want to be beautiful and feel beautiful again.....& I felt that way when I was at a lesser weight.

no- amount of weight loss can make you, that will be determined by you. and you only.

Erm, unless you are an anorexic or have some other Eating Disorder (ED) and the image in the mirror lies to you that you are "fat" even when your weight is dangerously low.<br />
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Hope that was okay, CarinEm. Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a very powerful and dangerous condition. It can drive adult women weighing as little as 50 - 88 lbs to believe that they are "fat".<br />
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Take care --<br />
Andrew

Don't listen to what anyone says except that person you see in the mirror

Ach, if you lose weight, do it for yourself. Not to feel better vis-a-vis people who feel the need to make you feel bad about your body whatever your weight.<br />
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Sadly, this seems to be something which women tend to do to each other (and to the men too...), more than the men. I think that maybe men prefer to compete over things where the competition is fairly ob<x>jective: Eg. Golf handicaps. Make and size of car. Size of... erm. Number of goals scored etc etc. Such comparisons can crush balls and ego, but they don't really seem to penetrate all the way to the self-esteem.<br />
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:P<br />
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Take care!<br />
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Andrew