Help!! Which Guy Do I Pick?

I started dating a man I will call Jim over a year ago.  I knew he was married but not living in the same bedroom for more than 3 years.  I could not live with the guilt and tried to end it several times.  Finally last spring he moved into his brother's vacation house and soon after received a call from his wife telling me she had no interest in him and was only concerned for their soon-to-be teenage son.  I never admitted anything other than friendship with him.  This man has captured my heart but I also know that he had cheated on his wife many times, can be manipulating but can be a very warm and loving man toward me.  We have shared many fun and memorable times together.  We enjoy so many of the same things.  He has won my heart but has also lost a lot of my trust through his omissions of events. I am not allowed to interact with his son at this time nor am I included in events with his brothers and their families.  Anyway, time past and I finally put the options of him filing for divorce or I was leaving.  He did nothing but convince me that in time the divorce would happen.  I felt too much like the "other woman."  Finally, his wife advised him she was seeking divorce.  I started dating another guy.  My kids love this guy I will call Fred and not the other guy Jim.  This guy  is very honest, straight shooter and never fear of him searching out other women and has opened the door to meet his children.  Although his is married he is legally separated and has been due to insurance reasons.  He hides me from no one.  We have been dating now for a couple months and it feels as if it has been so much longer.  I feel loved and welcomed in his house and family.



My problem:  Jim has asked me to marry him.  The divorce is being filed this week.  We have been seeing each other every night for several weeks.  Fred has been put on hold until I can figure out what I want.  Jim has been incredible and making every effort to make me feel that he wants me forever.  He purchased a ring (a big one) but I'm scared.  I love this man but fear the past of lies and omissions.  My kids don't like Jim.  They feel that he is too sneaky and can't be trusted.  He his set in his ways and isn't a "cool" guy that you can talk to about any subject.  Both Jim and Fred are very financially secure so I'm not worried about being a sugar-momma to either.  My heart says to go with Jim but my gut says for the long run, Fred is the one.  My kids think I will fall very deeply in love with Fred because he isn't set in his ways and we have so many things that neither has experienced that we can do together.  Jim is worldly and has done most of everything.



Jim is away on a trip for a week and I want to get my answer before he returns.  please help me.  I'm half way through my life on this earth and I don't want to make a mistake.

NJNurse NJNurse
51-55, F
Mar 6, 2010