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I'm A Mature Transwoman

I am a 60-year old transwoman living in Florida.  I came out to my wife a year and a half ago.  Needless to say, it wasn't what she was expecting to hear.  We love each other dearly, but she is struggling to accept that the person she loves does not love the body she has been born with.  I came out with a lot of anxiety, as we all do.  I truly did expect her to support me and be there as I have done for her, but I'm disappointed and upset that know that I've come to terms with who I really am and I do fell so much peace know that, that it cannot be embraced by the person who means the most to me.

I'm in therapy and she's joined me for join sessions.  I know she's trying and I also know I've had so much longer to get used to this, but I'm ready to grow and live as Cate.
CateinFlorida CateinFlorida 61-65, T 10 Responses Nov 3, 2010

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Interrsting. She is at least giving it a shot getting to know the real YOU....Thats progress

I understand. My wife accepts my crossdresssing but I have never felt comfortable telling her how really feminine I feel

Give her time,,after all it has taken you quite long,, you know

Wow. Im 60 very much a transwoman and as much as I would love to come out I think it would be harmful to my loved ones.However not living my life as the woman I was meant to be is soo much a disconnect. This has been going on since the age of 4 and takes so much energy to keep the woman within at bay.

Wanda

Eryn, I went through a similar event. My wife is accepting of my being transgender. I have the saying that the when we transition the whole family does. Give your wife time and space. Answer her questions if you can.



Gennee

Davnia,



You are so right. It does get lonely, but I would not change anything for the world. I have been honest to her and to myself. I'm not hiding or omitting or living a lie. I can live with that. They love me, but don't understand, just as I love them, but don't understand some of the things that make them special. My hope is living my life honestly, loving unconditionally and doing all I can to be a positive representative for our community and for myself. Encouragment from you gives me a lift and the strength to carry on.



Hugs,



Cate

It really is funny how we can give a lifetime of support and love, and then when an inner person that has been hiding for so long is revealed in the hope loved ones would embrace with support, only to find the opposite happens.



It becomes a lonely road filled with emotional distress. Many of us don't survive this road; I could not go through it again. By sharing and joining as friends I hope things can change as more people realize the anguish we feel and hold inside, something we should never have to.



I hope your family will come to understand and continue to give the love you deserve.



Hugs,

Davina

Well great and I'd love to be closer to a person like your self who understands my problems as well as I understand yours.There is one unfortunate item is that I live in Peru although I'm a U.S.citizen which is why I say I'm isolated.I don't think my wife would want to continue being married if I go all out which I plan to do and I'm playing with ideas to relocate and Florida and Puerto Rico are 2 possibility's because I'm bi-lingual.I just got rejected for therapy just this morning and I really believe other professionals just can't figure us older girls out but I'm looking into hormone therapy and sources as well as forming a trans group designed for people like us and if you want to chat with me more my e-mail is eryn.vanbel@yahoo.com and I too would be happy to make friends if your open.I'm a no game honest person in my early 60's and I haven't got the time to play games and I love the beach and would love to visit the keys one day so when you want just give me a jingle and I appreciate your support and reply.I'll bet you and I can find something that everyone will be happy with---can send straight photo with e-mail reply ..Thanks Eryn..

Hi Eryn,



It's really nice to find someone who is so similar to where I am. Most everyone of my trans friends have felt this way all of their lives, where I came to it very late. I do see things in my past that pointed to this all along.



Like you, I am disappointed that my wife has not been more accepting. She hasn't thrown me out or even been unkind, it's just I expected more. We've been through a lot and I like to think that I've been there for her all along.



I under the isolation. I do get out and have gf's to talk to, but it's not the same as getting the chance to be face-to-face. I welcome hearing from you more. I think we have a lot in common. Have a grand day.



Hugs,



Cate

A fantastically similar story as it's late in life to be dealing with these issues and I know exactly how you feel.Talk about anxiety,I have a double dose because I have older kids a very straight wife who knows about my wishes to be feminine but avoids any conversations about it thinking that it will go away..Yeah,I expected support too but I have therapists who don't want to deal with me because I think that they don't always accept an older person going thru emotional transitions as extreme as being a t/g or t/s.It always seems that the younger have a better chance and it's more acceptable for them just because their younger so pĀ“lease know that you have a new friend if you want to not be alone and I hope the same for me because I'm very isolated and the time is going fast and I want to enjoy who I know I am while I can still get around and have the opportunity to know and help others from my own experiences if I can....I want a girlfriend too...