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The Roller Coaster

Well, the past "few weeks" bring the downside of my life's roller coaster. As I recall, I wrote about the sudden stop at my facial laser treatment, which caused that my hair fought back, growth back. As I talked with one of my fellow friend, she mentioned, that she didn't do any laser for her face, just using hormones, and well, she found the downside of that act, namely, her facial hair is still growing, just without any kind of color. Bad idea, since she still need to shave. So she need to loose the hormones, and wait until those hairs got dark, which obviously not the best thing. Since here the electrolysis isn't available, -or just a bunch of us won't find-, she need to live for a while with her choice's consequence. Well, avoiding this pitfall, I still need to wait until I can get hormones... Not the best thing, since I'm getting older and older to hoping, about the effectiveness of those lovely pills. Emotionally bigger problem is, that I need to start again the full procedure, and obviously, much more important, that I can't change my gender, for a while. Okay, I can, our "laws" allow it, actually, we are without any laws in this manner -different story-, but I do not want to be Vivien officially, until I lost my facial hair... So, seems I will spend my 30th birthday, with my hated name... Not mention that money, that I gave for the laser, I could burn it, and I still won't be further... Or spent it to my bike ;)
So, this kind of things started to annoying me, and my mood just went to free fall. As a particular morning -yesterday-, I was show myself in the mirror, and almost cried, since, I was harry again, few moths ago, thanks for laser, I could skip every other shaving day, I was already a bit late from work, but I ran into the bathroom and shaved... but its felt like, I didn't do anything, I was so angry, and depressed, I almost broke my mirror, since I hated what I saw... So, problem unsolved, I went to work. As in the trip on the bus, I checked my e-mails, and got an interesting advertisement: laser hair removal on gig sale: 96% off!!!! WOW!! I immediately brought a bunch of it, which hopefully will enough to remove my facial hair and also from my chest and abdomen. Problem solved, I save a huge amount of cash. My mod get better a bit, but still, moths away from original scheduling...

So, sometimes up, and sometimes down. Everything happen with reason. Okay, for few things, I really not happy, like spending an another birthday, with my male name.... but hopefully some of the problems will go away soon.
VivienXX VivienXX 26-30, T Jun 13, 2012

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