Miserable In This Body

I hate feeling my breasts bounce. I don't always wear a binder because most people still see me as a female and I'm not ready to come out to everyone in my grade and whoever else may find out.

I hate the empty space between my legs. I feel so vulnerable because of it.

I hate my girly face. I lack the manly facial hair I wish I could have.

I want to start testosterone injections as soon as I can. I'm saving my change for chest surgery. My goal is to be on T and have already had chest surgery by the time I turn 21. I'm unsure if I want bottom surgery. I think I'd be much more comfortable with it but I just don't know.

Depression plagues me right now and all I feel is suffering.

The girl I like sees me as male (I think, I hope). She hugs me like I'm a bio guy. She doesn't think it's weird when I hug her like a guy would and if she does she doesn't say anything.

My best friend was the first to know. She sees me as male already, even when I walk out of the bathroom in a towel when I stay at her house. Her mom is just as supportive but forgets sometimes (well most of the time).

A sponsor for my graduating class knows and she is supportive as well.

Other people just think I'm a lesbian and that's fine with me for now.
NerdyTransDude NerdyTransDude
18-21, T
2 Responses Dec 15, 2012

I understand you so well!.In my case is it the other way around!My body is male and i hate those bits dangeling between my legs and i realy miss a pair of breasts on my chest!
Is it not cruel how nature can be.Your body has what i wish to have and the other way round
You are realy a lucky boy that people support you and i am happy for you!

Let's switch bodies -_- Let's be like the mom and daughter on Freaky Friday. Lol

Yeah thats an idea.Lets don it! lol

I can so understand your situation. It is such a cruel joke that some one can be one gender and be born in the body of the other. Good luck I so hope for a peaceful and wonderful life for you as a man

Thank you