Transgendered For Life

 Hello this is not something you can turn off and on like a light switch. Once the light is on and for me I was nine when it went on it is on for life. Deep down inside your soul you are trans you are a woman. Some times you try to keep it hidden but you cannot you have to let the women in you roar because she wants to come out and be seen, be heard like all her other sisters. So just like a good percentage of the work force she dresses as a man to appease the population and family but when she is not at work and the rest of the world cannot always see, she dresses as she wants to A WOMAN.


Samanthalynn101365 Samanthalynn101365
66-70, T
39 Responses Oct 14, 2009

Yep, you are so right! It never goes off, never.

Oh so true!! :)

Best to change as early as possible, and hope to have an understanding family and community, as my wife did at 10 yo. :-)

What you say is very true, I am TG and have been living as a woman for almost six months now. I have never been happier in all my 61 years and will never go back to my old life, I am Teri now forever and have come out to my family, most of them can't accept me but that doesn't bother me except for my children. The feel they have lost their father and in a way, they have

So true exactly how I feel. Thank you

Hi Samantha.<br />
I totally agree with what you said, I too have lived and dressed to suit others. Now as I approach old age I want to be me. It started a age of 5, now I am a transgirl with boobs that I adore, why o why did it not happen years ago. I never enjoyed sex as a man, I prefer to give pleasure without asking for any thing in return.

Hi there may i ask you how old are you now? How long had you been with your wife<br />
when you came out to her? how old were the both of you when you came out?<br />
<br />

Hugs to everyone! Jamie Lee

I am so happy for the the TGirls that have had the courage to truly accept and even happier for those of us that have had the joy of transition. I knew when I was 8 that I was different and was not supposed to be a boy. I will not whine about it but like so many of us when I told my parents I did not get the reaction I was hoping for. I have moved past the years of confusion now, moved past the insanity and frustration and I just hope and pray that future Tgs find happy ways to be accepted earlier in their lives. I have spent many years in therapy trying to undo the psychological confusions caused because we are forced to hide, deny and over compensate. This leads to behavior development in us when we are young and most maulable and can leave us with too many issues, phobias, compulsions and ongoing guilt. I have had the issues and am still working on them but I have also had a huge amount of joys in my life.... parentling children, loving a hugely special second wife who discovered my secret and loved me still, and moments of transition...moments of blissful self acceptance. It is an amazing feeling when you can, even for just a short period, become the real and honest you. The happiness can be like an explosion of self ex<x>pression and satisfaction that is so special and wonderful. I hope and pray that the future for us is better, that the world gets smarter and learns to accept and that we stay brave and true to ourselves.

Hi that is womderful I am so happy for you. GOOD LUCK<br />
<br />

I have accepted my transgenderism and have been found to have a form of gender disforia .I am seeing a psychotherapist to start hormone treatment soon .I am so looking forward to it .To live as a woman I am so looking forward to it although I am not thinking of SRS I like the thought of being able to dress the way I like all the time

Good for you, Abigail.

I have accepted my transgenderism and have been found to have a form of gender disforia .I am seeing a psychotherapist to start hormone treatment soon .I am so looking forward to it .To live as a woman I am so looking forward to it although I am not thinking of SRS I like the thought of being able to dress the way I like all the time

to masaru...and i bet those that disowned you are way into their religion.<br />

That is absolutely wonderful if at 70 you feel it is still worthwhile to go through all that. Whom else do you have in your life that needs you and respects you and your decision to do this.<br />
<br />
If I did as you are doing I would loose my kids but from what i have heard through the grapevine in the familt my grandaughter has the most open mind of anyone in my family so time will tell where I go from here.<br />
<br />

I also knew at a young age, though trapped in a male body, I always felt female - or what I knew at the time to be female. I was always small and delicate and took a few beatings for being that way. I was fortunate that I had a few older open minded friends who help me as I grew older.

Masaru, you are not freaks. I always wanted to be a female, but was afraid and I didnt want to let the family down. The need got so great I went ahead and feminized myself, lucky me I turned out a rather attractive woman. I too, still have my manly parts, which I hope surgery is not that far away. I do understand your situation. Live your life and be happy, if they care they will see your hurt and come around.

Once you know you can never go back I gotta take it on the other side

Hi Mary thank you so much Darling I really appreciate that. I believe and think they all are more worried about there own embarrassment than any thing else. Well it really looks good on her with the situation that she is in now let me tell you. THANK YOU LOVE Samantha

Well I think you are awesome Samantha, and I want you to br happy and feel Love,,,,and dress the way you want,,,I do,,,so why shouldn't you,,,people really need to stop turning their noses up like they are so good anyway,,,makes me want to just scream,,,,PLEASE LET PEOPLE BE WHAT THEY WANT TO BE,,,AND DO AND SAY WHAT EVER IS IN THEIR HEARTS,,,Now mind you,,,I just want people to be Love and Light,,,its whats right,,,and I Love and adore you Samantha,,,Love and Light Mary

Hi you are a very lucky man to have such a wife. I might have mentioned this before but 1 1/2 years after I told my wife in 81 we separated and still to this day neither her nor the children who are now both adults in their 30's will accept me for who I really want to be. Back in 06 I was talking with a lady in England and we were hoping to get together and I would start living with her as a woman but her son did not want to leave England to come here so it kind of all fell through. I decided today though that i am too old for any woman to want me no matter how good a shape I am in so I might as well be happy being Samantha and get some joy from life. So unless I am with the family skiing or my son going to lunch on Tuesday and work of course I want to be Samantha

I spoke with my doctor at the end of November last year. I am now taking .5 mg estradiol a day. Under my doctor's care, I dress fully as a woman every day and am in the process of legally changing my name. <br />
I have never been so happy as I am now -- I am finally being honest with myself and with all whom I meet -- who I am and the woman I've wanted to be since I was a teenager. As my doctor said 'Go for it'!

Hi there Sorry love but it is long gone. It was a book SIMILAR to Variations or Forum but neither one of those but I am sure you can find the same information on line.<br />
LOOK for symptoms of a TRANSVESTITE or CROSS DRESSER<br />
and I am sure you will come up with the same thing only a lot more up dated information. LOVE Samantha

Samanthalynn, You talked about finding a book at a book store once that talked about everything you had experenced in your life. Do you remember the name of it? I would love to get it and red it myself. Looking at your profile and messages I thought it was me.<br />
<br />
Thanks and Hugs Lorraine

Samanthalynn, You talked about finding a book at a book store once that talked about everything you had experenced in your life. Do you remember the name of it? I would love to get it and red it myself. Looking at your profile and messages I thought it was me.<br />
<br />
Thanks and Hugs Lorraine

Hi yes xcynnheartscassiev That is what i was hinting about in my email to you because of your age I have to be careful<br />
of what I say. I can see you liking girls because of the way you dress. But you have a boyfriend in Nick. You need to do some experimenting to see which you like more. LOVE Samantha

I wore a night dress when I was about 5 or 10 until my parents stopped me. I always wanted to wear that kind of girls clothes.<br />
Later in life when I got married I told my wife.<br />
Life is a little better now.<br />
The thing is you just can't turn it off like a switch, even if you wanted to. you are wright.

If you do not have kids then ditch the wife or talk to her and start dressing the way you want to and be a lesbian couple.<br />
I have always believed that a woman had to be Bi anyway to be with a CD'er. So talk to her if she does not comply or feel comfortable the situation then it is good by. You only have one life live it the way you want to not every one else. <br />

I am TS and non op. I hate that.. I am woman just damn born wrong!

Hi well you know the world is so diversified now it is hard for the older generation to keep up with it all. They get set in there ways and do not even want to comprehend what you and your spouse are going through. My Ex and my kids all figure i am doing this just because i want to not because I was born this way so the subject is never even brought up when we are together. Yet I go out with my Ex for coffee to chat about our daughter and granddaughter on a regular basis and my son and i get together once a week for lunch so I am lucky that way and I accept that this is just the way they are. LOVE Samantha / I would love to have a MTF for a spouse it would not bother me at all.

My spouse is MTF and she lives full time as a woman. She would LOVE SRS, but since it is rather expensive, I'm not seeing it happen in the near future. We have gone through counselling and she is on hormones. The best part is having a GF that understands me. The worst part is having family disown us for 'being freaks'.

what is SRS? and r u a woman? if u dont mind my asking

GOOD FOR YOU. Samantha

Never knew I was transgender until over fuor years ago. I always felt that I was different all my life. Came out at 57 and have been happy evr since.

I totally understand. I'm not actually transgender, I identify with more of the genderqueer/androgynous label, but I know what you mean about the whole on/off light-switch thing. My mom is always trying to convince me it's just a stage, you'll get through it and find your female pride, but that's not true. I always knew deep down I think. I never really had a sense of being strictly either male or female.

Hi Well I guess you are around 30 so to have only decided a month ago that you are Trans. I can totally understand the mental confusion that you are going thru. I started this when I was 9 but did not really understand what I was until I had been married 4 years<br />
by finding a book in a store that completly described everything i had been going thru since a child. Now there is a hunger to be a women that has to be met but do you really want to give up being a man. If I was in your shoes and did not have ANY ties to a wife or kids I would go completly do hormones and in the end have SRS surgery to completly be a women. Even though it may be hard it is better than living as a man and everyonce and a while being a women. I KNOW. Take CARE Love Samantha

Your so right on with the lifetime of living as a transgender.Especially those of us over 40 yrs old.
I too with the knowlege I have now would not have made the hopefull decisions of joining the militaryu and getting married and hoping the desire to be fem will just simply pass.
Now I just grin a bear for the sake of family.The secretly indulge when the desire becomes too much.
At least this forum we are among others that we can share a relate our hidden feelings...;-)

Me to Sam, me too. If the internet had been around when I was 18-20 and knew that I could make a hot female with hormones I would have so done it!!!

I accepted my self as trans, only a month ago. So I do wish so badly to be a woman. But becasue I have spent the last 30 year living as a man, it so hard at time to think of my self as a woman, but I know deep down a woman it trully what I am.

I am transgender,yes I am and I am proud to admit it.It has been 10 years since I accepted myself. My life has not been more satisfying and peaceful since.

I understand. Completely.<br />
<br />
To be in unison (mind and body) is the goal. Sometimes it is possible, sometimes not. I understand and support these women and men (it does happen in reverse too).

I'm an FTM, more importantly male, and damn proud of it

Love back at you . Hugs