Too Late To Escape But Want An Affair

I have been married 32 years with 2 wonderful sons. About 15 years ago, I knew the marriage was in trouble when I realized I married my husband for the wrong reasons and when he became impotent due to an illness, I found myself fantasizing about other men.
Because my life was fully devoted to my sons and my husband, I did not realize how fast time flew. Now I am 59 years old. I want to feel passion again. I want to make love again and feel like a desirable woman.
The problem is that when I told my husband that I wanted a divorce or a legal separation to be able to explore other relations, he refused flat out. I want to start a relationship with someone else to feel alive again otherwise I am going to die a slow painful death of anger and frustration.
There is a married man, a friend of many years whose wife stopped paying attention to him. He is interested in me and I in him. I want to have a sexual relationship with him but not necessarily have him leave his wife.
At times I think I am so confused. All I know is that I am unhappy and trapped in this marriage. Has anyone else ever felt that way? Do you overcome this situation gracefully?
Am I selfish for wanting to have an affair since I cannot get out of my marriage?
Anastesia Anastesia
56-60, F
Nov 26, 2012