So I have a son who is about a year and a half. I am also pregnant again. Same father. He told me as soon as I got pregnant again he wanted nothing to do with me relationship wise but he would be there for the kids. It is something I have been struggling to accept. Today I went to drop my son off for a visit with him and he has a huge hickie on his neck. It shouldn't bother me, but does. I have talked to people on here but then they stop responding and it sucks. I just want someone to talk to.
DarlingAnna DarlingAnna
22-25, F
5 Responses Aug 29, 2014

Let him help support the kids but get on with your life. Take a class or join a group. Find time to learn about yourself and learn to truly love yourself. That is the best thing you can do. It will be the best way to teach your children how to love themselves. Accept that the children's father does not only not love you but does not deserve you. No one can give you what you do not have for yourself. Find yourself spiritually. You don't have to go to church but you need to find something to have faith in.

I am getting on with my life. I have been trying to accept it is over for some time. And to be honest, if he changed his mind and wanted to be with me I wouldn't allow it. Theres no coming back from him being with someone while I am pregnant with his child. I actually do believe in God. I know he has a plan for me. I know this is just a rough patch. There is a reason. But a punch in the gut and a loss for air is still exactly that and hard to get through.
Also, I did join a group, - this one! Ha, I have been trying to talk to / find people who understand or can help get me through

Then you are doing the right things. I know you are in pain and the pain is probably bad enough to drop you to your knees. Don't fight it, accept it for what it is, a very painful lesson and learn from it. You really have to look within yourself and ask yourself some hard questions. What attracted you to someone who would treat you so badly? You might say you did not know but if you really look within yourself and are really honest, you will be able to realize you knew he was a jerk and you stayed. I am not saying this to be mean, I am saying this because I've been there. Unless you find out why you accept being treated less then you deserve, you will either let him back into your life to keep hurting you or you will attract another jerk who will treat you just as bad or worse. This has nothing to do with the jerks and everything to do with you. Refuse to be a victim, take control of your life and set the standards much higher than you have been on what is acceptable treatment. Pray to the God you believe in and know that God is in you. The power of God is in you and that power can get you through anything. I don't mean a holy roller, reborn kind of God. I mean the love and peacefulness that you will have within when you love yourself as God loves you. For when you love God, you love yourself. That is the plan God has for you. I know this probably sounds like a lot of fluff and you think it is not helping. But when you learn to stand in your own truth and accept accountability and take responsibility, then you will learn who you are and the opportunities are limitless. You can also remain the victim and tell yourself, how unfair life is and what a jerk he is but then that is all you'll ever have. It really is your choice. I wish you healing, insight and joy.

Please don't worry , he is not the only person in this world there are a lot of nice, responsible person around.just be happy and move on

Don't chase after someone not worthy of your time.

Sorry you're in this situation. He doesn't seem like a good person. Are you getting support from family?

I do get support from my family but I no longer have any friends.

That's too bad. Why is that?

Whatever the reason it's time for new friends. Maybe find a support group for single moms. Cultivate relationships for your children too. Play groups for your toddler.

I know it must be hard. You are grieving a loss. Something only time can heal. And it's hard having to see the father of your children move on after betraying you. Getting the feelings out is helpful.

I think That dropping off your kid is not an option ... And you're probably going through a test from God by Feeling that struggle to duel with the thing ... All what you have to do is to hold on pretty much be patient so much ... Do whatever you can do and let what you can't and the rest for God 'cause he never let you down ... Just keep the faith !

I disagree. I'm in a similar situation but children don't ask to be here. Can't make the child suffer for the adult's relationship. I still let my son see his father. As long as the father is willing and able you can't let your own hurt feelings get in the way of your child's relationship with his other parent.

To both you and the previous comment, the issue was never about custody or dropping him off, it was about when happened / what I noticed when I did. I will never not allow my son to see his father. I have no right to. I want them to spend time together. I try all the time to get his dad to see him more. That is the part that is upsetting. He canceled a visit because he was busy. That was yesterday. Now today, I can see what he was busy with. What was more important than spending time with our son. Our son deserves a better father. Thats what upsets me. KeeWee812, I read your other response on the other board. Message me.