I had a boyfriend for 4 and a half years .. I was really in love with him. He cheated on me a few times and I forgave him because I loved him so much. He father died and I did everything for him.. But he started to get aggressive and a bit violent with me. I still stuck by him because I wanted to have the relationship I thought I deserved ... But I changed to and became distant. He broke up with me a few months ago, and went straight into a new relationship with another girl. I was devastated thinking she would get everything I didn't. Since then we have met up once ... When we did, he told me he was still in love with me, wanted me back and we ended up kissing.. We text on and off for a few days .. And then he finally said to stop talking to him because he didn't love me. He's now gone away with his new girlfriend.. I feel so devastated ... I know I should know better and just move on. But I can't...
Sarahlou89 Sarahlou89
26-30, F
5 Responses Sep 1, 2014

i know exzactly how you feel , except in my case its my husband and i have a few years your story, i plead with you to accept that no matter what you think you can do to improve the situation, from the way it sounds, you are the only one trying on a two way street, no matter how much you love someone, and hope for the best, you need to realize, it'll never work, hes already disrespected you so many times, now your just dogging yourself if you don't move on. i know its hard, and it is painful, but trust me im 7.5 months of separation, and i have doubtful days, but things do get better, soon you be laughing out loud again, you 'll be the person you used to be before you became consumed with being someones everything, and ultimately, in the long run, that major change back to being you, will effect others more positivley in the long run, way more numbers of people, that just one dude, give yourself a chance. ps sorry to be so blunt

It's common to be devastated after a break up, though you shouldn't let it control your future. Give yourself some breathing space, take part in activities (exercising is one of the best because the act releases pheremones which promotes healthy brain activity, and ultimately making you feel better about yourself)
Go out with your Girlfriends drink, not to forget but to enjoy the time you spend with people who truly love you for the way you are.
Life is a long lesson, use this attitude. You know you deserve better, your ex sounds manipulative and people who cheat will never stop he will go through countless partners unless he gets his act straight. Cheaters never prosper and he will quickly find himself alone when he's older.
You need to make room for the next important guy in your life. if you hold onto the past and let it burn you, you may push away the men who desire to be with you and make you feel like the happiest girl in the world.
Hope this helps!

The best test of a relationship is how well it handles hardship. The death of a close one is a good example. Healthy relationships handle difficult times well. It's partly why we have relationships. The relationship you described didn't do well during this "test". It should have brought you closer.

I find for me to ACCEPT, I must see the perfection in it. I must yield to reality. Believing reality is our friend helps. It doesn't stop the feelings, but helps guide the feet.

It is not uncommon for a former partner to think a new relationship isn't going well after a long term one. They compare the comfortability with the new partner against one that had years to develop. They can conclude they didn't pick the right person and desire what they had. Plus, we tend to forget the things that separated us.

Maybe this is the best for both of you. Maybe the relationship wasn't a mistake because you learned more about what traits in a person you are really looking for. Maybe someone better fitted for you is waiting for you.

I'm sorry for the loss. It is still a grief to end a relationship that had love and life running through it. You had something very close to a lifetime relationship. It's not easy to give up what you know for something unknown. I think it's great you haven't hooked up with another guy right away. Give the next guy in your life your full singleness, without a hint of your last boyfriend. You can't change what your ex boyfriend did, but you can do things right for you.

Thats what i am going through now my girlfriend left me for another man its awful but you have got to have no contact with him at all otherwise u will never move on believe me ive done the same met her she told me too she loved me but then she just ignore's me your best off with out him is hard i know but i am now starting to realise am better off and you will too

He treated you like crap. Those kind of guys don't deserve you. Try to avoid him as much as possible, maybe travel he world and do other hobbies. You never know, you may find the right man for you in your travels.