I Could Not Change My Sad Life

I couldn't how can i start to write my problem
my english so badly, but I'll try to explain my clear story
iam unlucky all my life
i was sad when i was child
now iam 28 years old and no good change or new happy in my life
I do not know why ?
Is it from my Gad? or another thing
iam nice and handsome man , I always have high ambition all my life

my dreams always shattet in front of strange fact that i live in

my chillhood was sad
my teenager was faild
my youngest is non-clear

in my childhood , my friends street always made problem with me
and i stayed alone against with them
nobody was fighting with me
it was so pain for me

I didn't know why they do it with me ?
maybe they were envoius , harted me
after many problems they made them with me , I was held by a psychological
it caused me heat a street or mix or play with street friends

I lived a teenager bleak sad because of them

how much i carried hatred and malice from them

I didn't live any beautiful moments with girl

I couldn't make a realationship with a girl who i liked her
because iam so shy , and have a Psychiatric diseases

my age ran and i stay with no change as like all people who i know them , or unknow them

What can I say

whenever I go forward , my life sad increase

The most difficult experience in my life is the College of Engineering

I studied 4 years in the college of engineering and failed and went out of it
And moved to the college of accounting

I studied very hard accounting subjects and I graduated with excellent

I can not get a good job although I carry Excellent qualifications and other skills because I live in corrupt administrative in my country (llibya)

i got many jobes
I left my jobs because if you are intelligent and clever , they will not give you a chance to succeed and achieve your goal
that's why arab country are in the lowest level in the world

now i work in accounting office and i still suffering the same problem

2 years ago i went to ramsgate, england to study and improve my english for 3 months

it was disappointed, frustrated trip

i was happy when i came to live a new life and see a new people , to have a good experience ,but all of them won't happen

unfriendly student
bad hostfamily
bad school

despite of ramsgete is very quite and lovely place
it is very nice city , but i do not know why i was sad

i feel bad when i am thinking about a past or the future

oooh , I really nice man , have big and white heart
I wish allah ( my gad) to gove me a happiness , cheerfulness and real good chance

I love my gad
my allah ( my gad) built us no for laughing and playing only

he built us for put me and you in the test

some people have a easy test in thier life
on other hand some people have a hard test

i love you my allah so much , please do not left me sad

thanks