And It's Not Working For Me

I KNOW I'm in a downward cycle, I'm sinking into a depression again. I'm trying to fight it. But I cannot win. I did things to try to make me feel better. I did things to try to improve my life. But nothing seems to be working. I can't fight it. I just have to go with the flow it seems, the downward flow, wait till I hit rock bottom and wait for things to start looking up again. Sometimes though, I'll bounce along rock bottom for a while before things actually go on an upward swing. Sometimes for months, even longer.

I tried to improve my surroundings, I got rid of clutter, I bought some new furniture, I tried to rekindle friendships, I'm trying to get a lucky break in my career (looking for better jobs and/or retraining), I donated some stuff to charity. But no, I cannot seem to feel any better whatsoever, cause nothing seems to be working for me. I tried affirmations (like I WILL have a good day today), seems to work for one day, then you're back to feeling miserable again.

I cannot figure out what it is that I can do to feel better. I know what needs to change, I need more good people in my life, I need positive changes in my career, I need more fun things to do, I need stability, I want LOVE in my life as well. But it's oh so hard to make any of these things happen. :-(

IndigoPeachblossom IndigoPeachblossom
36-40, F
7 Responses Mar 28, 2009

When I get like this it is really hard for me to come out of. I cry randomly and I just start hating to do everything. I just want to crawl in bed and sleep for days. It really is like a switch for me. It's there...and then it's not. I have learned that if I write down my feelings of what happened that day and what I ate - it really helps me to at least breath after getting all my feelings down on the page. Also knowing what I ate and how much I slept really helps me kind of look at if that had anything to do with it. Even if I watch something like "Chuck" it can make my day all that better. I hope you find something that works for you. For now, this is what works. I'm sure one day I'll slip down again and have to find a different outlook. And for love - you will find someone. It takes time and it sucks. But the determined never stay down to long and get right back up and never quit - even through all the hell they're put through. You'll find someone - best of luck.

mother died a little over a year ago, in the middle of my marriage failing,, 6 months later I separated from husband & kids ( my job was not condusive to keeping them), moved in with a loving couple at the time, who eventually lost their house, and so we all had to move into a rental... 3 months later that husband wants to leave his wife, and I'm stuck in the middle of that drama.. so now I'm back with husband , and kids (which having the kids is great, I can see them everyday instead of every other weekend),, but the same drama with husband now,, stuck in a rut is right,, going to get meds today, and therapy next week... something should help me in the right direction,, right??

I know this feeling of being stuck in a rut. My situation has been helped by cutting out toxic relationships, eating Bananas ( The Potassium does good things for your brain),light dancing and <br />
Wellbutrin XR.

ive got a similar problem. ive narrowed it down to life being meaningless, and this depressed feeling i get is when i realize that all the meanings i've been dedicating my life to are false meanings. once you get what you think you need what do you do? get another one? then what? you know what I mean? all i can figure to do is take drugs or play videogames or get drunk, have sex, whatever you can do to take your mind off of it if you are lucky enough to be able to do any of those. if you are like me and none of those work for you anymore then... i don't know... just... i dont know.

wow I'm a guy and feel the same way...marriage is about over, career is waning..parent's are aging....and my BP is racing towards the I either cap myself now, or wait for something better...I am looking for a new career....and trying to figure out where I went wrong....temper, frustration and all the rest..i love my family..i worked so hard to make things better, we have financial stability...and little doc puts me on lexapro and xanax to calm me down and lower my BP...I am artificially surviving...what happened to the world beat I once was....any single ladies need a man who's honest hardworking, loves kids and looks pretty good?

I went on Paxill for this. It helps.

I read your experience and it rings true with me. I don't imagine this will be helpful, but it helped me a little to read yours and know for a moment that this craziness and volitility I feel isn't totally freakish.<br />
I'd like to think I can change things, but I must admit that I don't really believe that anymore.