And It's Not Working For Me
I KNOW I'm in a downward cycle, I'm sinking into a depression again. I'm trying to fight it. But I cannot win. I did things to try to make me feel better. I did things to try to improve my life. But nothing seems to be working. I can't fight it. I just have to go with the flow it seems, the downward flow, wait till I hit rock bottom and wait for things to start looking up again. Sometimes though, I'll bounce along rock bottom for a while before things actually go on an upward swing. Sometimes for months, even longer.
I tried to improve my surroundings, I got rid of clutter, I bought some new furniture, I tried to rekindle friendships, I'm trying to get a lucky break in my career (looking for better jobs and/or retraining), I donated some stuff to charity. But no, I cannot seem to feel any better whatsoever, cause nothing seems to be working for me. I tried affirmations (like I WILL have a good day today), seems to work for one day, then you're back to feeling miserable again.
I cannot figure out what it is that I can do to feel better. I know what needs to change, I need more good people in my life, I need positive changes in my career, I need more fun things to do, I need stability, I want LOVE in my life as well. But it's oh so hard to make any of these things happen. :-(