The Enlightenment (an Inner Journey Of Maa Sunita Tatvamasi)

Maa Tatvamasi previously had been known to the world as Dr. Sunita Sharma. She was born in Delhi, India and completed Her education in Delhi only. She spent Her childhood in very small one room home with very big family. The noise of the atmosphere made Her learn how to listen the voice of SILENCE. She is unable to recall whether She Herself cultivated this quality or She was born with this quality. She says, "Whenever there is great tension, loud noise------ I automatically go into the trance (smaadhi). People can see my open eyes and open ears. Even I reply them but internally I feel a disconnect". Maa uses the word ‘I’ for Her spirit being. All decisions of Her life were soul-centric. Most of the time against the set rules of the self-centric society. But She walks on the path which Her soul guides Her.

MAA TATVAMASI was used to sit alongside any plant or tree or leaf and kept on staring it for a long. She was capable to watch the moments of ants for hours and hours. She was not much keen in talking to people. Rather, whenever She found time She was used to lock Her body at backside of a bamboo ladder with downward head and upward legs. She spent hundreds of hours in this posture in Her childhood. "I was feeling a constant connection with something unseen. It was mystical." Maa recalls.

Being a member of financially poor family She had to do a lot of house-hold works. Walking miles with heavy school-bag, nursing Her ill mother and dozens of Her other ward-mates was the routine life-cycle of Maa Tatvamasi. Since childhood She felt that there was an non-describable stillness in Her body whenever She heard the poems of great saints. Her senses used to hear them carefully and tried to adopt the teachings of the saints at their level best.

She had always been feeling immense LOVE for the society around Her. She kept on giving Her services besides Her limited resources. She had numbered memories of visiting temples, gurudwaras, mosques and churches. But She says, "Whenever I work, I feel like worshipping." This feeling, this enjoyment gives Maa the feeling of fulfilment and She hardly bothers about the end result of Her efforts.

This vast heart, this great virtue She got from Her parents. In 1947, when India got divided, Her parents were forced to migrate from their ancestral land in Punjab (the undivided part of India) to divided India. They were the richest family in their colony with one mile long mansion (haveli), with quintals of gold, with dozens of servants, means of transportations and etc. Of course, they were enjoying great reputation as well. Since birth Maa only saw poverty, lacknesses and long waitings for little comforts in life. The most amazing thing is - She came to know about glorious past of Her parents at the age of 16 and that too not from Her parents but from some outsider.

"This shook me very badly, not because there was self-pity for the then poor-living-standard but because one question had been raised in my mind - how deep my parents were?" Maa shares Her memories.

This revelation unknowingly put Her on research of personality of Her parents. Maa Tatvamasi wanted to know the secret behind this sea-deep-silence. The first obvious reply which came to Her head was that the pain of losing everything was so deep that they had opted for silence. Then She started observing them on several petty and big issues. Her mother, Mrs. Kartar Devi, was an illiterate lady. Her father Mr. Santokh Lal, had studied up to 5th standard only but both were intelligent persons. They were struggling for each and everything but never over-reacting on achievements and failures of their endeavours. In those days only Maa studied about Lord Buddha. She found that the teachings and sacrifice of luxurious life of Buddha were being taught to the society with equal importance. In short, sacrifice in search of TRUTH was the lesson from his life. Maa Tatvamasi started comparing Her father with Buddha. Buddha had deliberately sacrificed the luxuries of life but Her father had been forced to leave them. The disciples of Buddha had no option but to glorify that sacrifice. It means the sacrifice of His wealth had never been sacrificed by the memories of his disciples and subsequently by the society. But Her father neither wept, nor sighed for his losses. Even he did never recall them. In short, he was very much detached to worldly achievements and losses. On request of Maa he did share his several childhood memories with great enthusiasm and innocence but without any regret with his then life.

When Maa was only 11 She found Her mother being hospitalized at high frequency. Every time it was the duty of Maa to take care of Her mother. The crisis of Her mother played the role of greatest opportunity in Her life. "Those were the moments when drop by drop I was becoming the Maa." Recalls Maa with floating memories in Her eyes.

Her mother was the mother of 8 more children too. Maa Sunita Tatvamasi was the youngest child from Her womb. Her mother, Mrs. Kartar Devi used to talk about each of Her child’s problems and solutions, strengths and weaknesses. She used to see dreams of Her children with Her own eyes. She never discriminated among her own children and their spouses. She was becoming grand-mother of many newborns. Maa never saw Her mother worrying about limited resources. Her only worry was on right direction of sincere efforts which her children were doing to get rid of their poverty.

Maa had never seen that Her mother was questioning Her when She was nursing so many other patients. She never encouraged Her to go for worshipping and even never discouraged Her when She was taking interest in people from different strata of society. A constant flow of LOVE could always been felt from all the talks and decisions of Her mother. She had never been over-expressive on her vision about the society. Ms. Kartar Devi and Mr. Santokh Lal had never been seen in self-pity when they were deceived by the society. They kept on walking on their moral values without making bigger announcements or declarations.

Both of these personalities put great impact on the personality of Maa Tatvamasi. She found Herself walking on the path where there was only motherhood and LOVE. Having great parents was not the only luck with MAA. Her luck elevated with Her eight elder brothers and sisters too. All were giving Her their unconditional affection because being the youngest She did always remain the youngest and did enjoy full pamper. Not only this, this affection got transmitted into Her sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law as well. Accordingly, Maa Tatvamasi felt the love and respect from their children as well.

As selection of parents was not in hands of human costume of Maa Sunita, it was purely the decision of the God (or the unconscious mind of Maa), likewise one more incident occurred which was beyond Her control -------. At the age of 17 Maa found Herself staring a boy, who was standing amidst the rush of around 150 people, whom She was seeing for the first time. Her body was standstill, voice mute, eyes without moment and all the motions had been ceased.

The boy also had the same condition. Maa was not aware about the name, age, education, marital status, health, wealth, religion, family etc. of that boy. She was feeling only one connection, a connection indescribable, it could be from previous births. What was that - She doesn’t know. It happened several times with the same boy. Both were in communication for two years. Both were unmarried but somehow they couldn’t marry each-other.

At the age of twenty Maa got married with very nice and humble person, Dr. Ajit Kumar Sharma but She was unable to forget ‘him’. To keep Her mind intact She had been overloading Herself with bundle of works - Her own higher education, brought up of Her children, working for the society, creative-writings and etc. All the endeavours were giving their results but a constant underlying pain was denying to stop. Maa was feeling as if She was sinking in an ocean of pain. Her soul was weeping all the time. The glimpses of this pain can also be felt in Her poetry and one of Her novels titled ‘Main Khush Hun Kamli (I am happy Kamli)’.

With the passage of time this pain kept on increasing. As Maa doesn’t agree with the concept of suicide so She decided to live along with that pain only. This grief, this sorrow gave Her ability to ignore all other sorrows. After a decade of departing She was feeling that whole of Her pain was being concentrated at one point of Her chest i.e. the centre of Her chest. And this point was giving feeling of bursting. She was feeling that something big, very big wanted to come out from that point. As if something was knocking constantly Her at from inside that point to get break out. At times Maa had seen some aesthetic scenes but those were glimpses only and not much clear view. In mid of year 1996 Maa got first attack of nervous-break-down. She was trying to scream but her voice got muted. After few minutes when She started screaming, it was like her sound was piercing the sky. This sound was originating from Her naval. She had the feeling that either that ‘Big’ thing should come out clearly or go away thoroughly. This scream prolonged for 15 minutes and then Maa became unconscious. Then there was one more attack in same year but nothing concrete could come out of that.

In year 1997 the sequence of attacks got its pace. They started occurring in smaller intervals like twice or thrice in a month. Before, during and after every attack there was an acute pain in left side of the body of Maa.

These attacks sustained for 12 long years. In year 2007 Maa Tatvamasi got the last attack with the feel that that would be the last one only. She is unable to state the logics but She was relaxed. This relaxation continued for 3-4 months. And in February, 2008 She started visualizing unimaginable scenes. She was happy, She was delighted. She was jubilant, jumping on the soil and dancing in the sky. She was enlightened now. A small write up on Maa’s divine experiences in Her own words is being used here. It had been penned down on January 8, 2010 but since then a lot more has been happened. The devotees of Maa have requested Her to write down an autobiography which should mainly focus the treasure of such type of experiences. Good News! She has started work on the same.

A sweet flute keeps on playing
When I came into my senses I found that I was different from other children. When other children were used to laugh at the fall of one child, I would go to pull him up. When other students used to laugh at the child who had been scolded, I would go to teach him. At home, my mother used to recite saint Kabir's rhymes in different situations and kept on trying to convince that the hurdles which we were facing in our lives had not been coming for the first time in the world. Other people too face such type of things and handle certain types of problems in certain manners. The time kept on passing, at times I felt like seen something unusual, intuited something beforehand but never did express. In year 1994, first time, I saw a complete divine light.

There were only books in that light. Once again the time kept on passing. At times there were ***-bit aesthetic experiences but nothing special. There is an incident of October, 2003. My brother Sudershan was very ill. He was taking long and deep breaths. It was looking like that any breathe could be the last one. I was with him in his room. The activities of his hands were like there was someone in front of him and he was requesting him to bring him away with his self. This consecution concluded after one and a half hour. Then he got normal, he kept on staring me for long. Then started speaking "Baabaaji! I couldn’t go because of you." I asked, "Who is Baabaaji?" He said, "You are the Baabaaji from Anandpur Sahib (*in year 2011 Maa has come to know that Her mother’s family was the devotee of Baabaa Nangli Sahib of Pune, Maharashtra, India. When Maa just got the space in womb of Her mother Her grand-mother and Her mother’s sister Kanta did stay at their home as transit during their pilgrimage of Punjab to Pune). You have come here after reincarnation. What... am I enable to recall you? (**Here the amazing thing is none of family member of Maa was follower/devotee of any Guru/Preacher/God/Goddess and etc. The whole family was an atheist. Nobody did ever visited Pune or discussed about Guru Nangli Sahib and never did see his picture).” I replied, "Dear brother! I am your younger sister Sunita." He said, "Yes, Baabaaji! This time you have named yourself Sunita, then so what? But still you are only Baabaaji." "But neither have I seen anyone nor did I stop anyone." I said in perplexity. He got little irritated, then said, "How can they take me with them, when you are here?" I thought for a while that he was in intensive disease that is why was talking like that. But then after he did remain alive for one and a half month more. Kept on talking with everyone in a normal manner. Talked to me as well but the single address was ‘Baabaaji!’. Then I kept on ******* my mind that there is nothing like this and did remain fully focused on my works. Some trivial spiritual experiences were happening in regular course when in the night of 17-18 February, 2008 I saw the Lord Vishnu categorically, sitting on his chariot. Very splendid, clear and gigantic. Smiling. After few moments God Shivji heave in sight. Live. A snake around the neck, moving slowly-slowly. Then Paarvati, then Ganesha, Maa Saraswati, Maa Sheronwali, Maa Laxmi, Maa Kaali, Brahmaji, Lord Sri Krishna, Lord Raam, Seeta and Laxman all were seen.

All were splendid and very big (from earth to sky) in size. All were smiling and beautiful. Guru Naanak ji came next night, kept on standing before me for a long. Next to this night Brahmaji alone came to me. Kept on standing in my room. At my head side. Kept on beholding my face and continuously kept on giving blessings. Smilingly. In those days, I was reading books on Mr. Dhirubhai Ambani (***He was the business tycoon of India of in 1980s and 1990s). In that week only Mr. Ambani (rather, his spirit) came before me. He was at the distance of 5-6 feet only from me. He was illuminating with great aura. He said‚ “People who get success are also human beings only my child!” I was stunned that how that week was, everything happening was unique. But this was the beginning only. The scenes after that were the ones which were never neither seen nor heard of. The divine light heave in sight to me. Infinite expansion. Milky white, very beautiful, very auspicious. It took me not a single second to understand that this is the only light which is inherited to every living-being. This is the supreme soul. Slowly and gradually my experiences got more intensive. I saw that there are many planets in this galaxy. The planet earth is staying on the hood of Sheshnaag (a huge rattlesnake with multiple hoods). This Sheshnaag exists right at the centre of the sea. With many hoods. There are many white lines on its body. Sheshnaag is so long ----- millions of feet. Not dreaded. Revered. Each and every item inside the sea was visible. Millions of big and small water animals, trees, saplings, bushes, mountains each and every thing was being clearly envisaged to me. Then after all the creations of the existence were clearly visible. All the rivers, fountains, mountains, hills, forests, fruits, flowers were being blossomed altogether. All the animals of this world like mouse, squirrel, deer, lion, snake, bear, rabbit and etc. Eeach and every animal was heave in sight. Did see trillions of birds - beautiful, affectionate, full of life. Fanatic with love.
The journey did not stop here. After this I saw Mahatma Buddha, Mahavir Jain, Christ, Tulsidaasji, Baaba Baalaknaath and Sai Baaba. Then after many more Gods and Goddesses heave in sight which may be the idols of small communities. Many Gods and Goddesses of different countries like Africa, America, Japan and etc. And as this journey was being progressing I saw few disciples of Mahatma Budha 5, 7, 20, hundreds, thousands, millions. Like this, millions of followers of Mahavir Jain and billions of disciples of Christ. I saw trillions of pure souls all together. I saw that many saints, sages, pundits, aughads, maulvees, priests who are engaged in worshiping in maths, temples, mosques, churches, ice mountains, jungles and tunnels etc. All of them too are there. Everything is very divine and splendid. What to say, something very beautiful is visible at the wink of eye-lids. I keep on laughing in aloneness. Family members say that I laugh while sleeping.

Sometimes body becomes weightless. Sometimes I feel that many rays of light are being emanated from my body for hours and hours. Sometimes I feel like lights of hundreds and hundreds of suns are being emanated from inside me. As if the whole existence is my expansion. Sometimes there is a night full of moon and stars. Sometimes only pious items are being seen like cow, feather of peacock, flower of lotus, banana tree, conch-shell, beetle-nut and etc. Sometimes divine music of lyre (veena) keeps on echoing. Sometimes Krishna keeps on playing flute. Wearing crown of peacock-feathers on his head. Colorful cloth-belt at waist. Crossed legs. Drowned state. Sometimes he is visible with Radha, Gopis and cows. Sometimes Radha herself comes and mutters "Radhe-Radhe". Goddesses Laxmi and Saraswati pay regular visits. Lord shiva oftenly keeps on dancing. Sometimes for whole night. In short, a fine divine tune is humming in the soul. A sweet flute keeps on playing. There is just only a drowsiness. Feels like that life has transformed into a festival. All around there is a feeling of love, love and love.

Everything feels pleasant. Very pleasant. Very pleasant.
_________

Since then Maa is in a blissful state. She has gone beyond all the happinesses and sorrows, all the successes and failures of this mortal world. Now, She is unable to limit Herself with one planet only. She is able to see the God everywhere. She is able to see the creator in His creation. She knows that every creature, every human being is God. Sometimes Maa feels like She doesn't have any body. She feels blossoming like a flower. Sometimes She feels that the light of hundreds and thousands of suns is emitting from Her body. She feels that She is an energy. She feels this energy should be transmitted to as many people as much possible. She strongly feels the urge to bless people with Her touch. She doesn’t know the impact but She is no longer able to resist such type of feelings with Herself only.

Now, Maa is able to connect Herself with an old Sanskrit saying "Aham Brahmasi (I am the God)". It may sound like a statement full of proud and ego. One more humble word to describe the feeling is – Tatvamasi. Once again it is a Sanskrit word which means 'This is me only'. Each and every person on this earth is asking some questions from his/her own self about his/her existence, the truth, the creator and driver of this cosmos and etc. But ignores, because he/she is unable to find the answers. Goes to some religious places, some religious Gurus but comes back dissatisfied. Tatvamasi is the state when no mystery remains the mystery. When no question is unanswered. At this state you not only get the answers but also turn into a blissful soul. You yourself are confident, happy spirit.

All these experiences and feelings are true at their place but still Maa had never ever thought of renunciation (sannysas). Then the God, the higher souls or the Supreme spirit did remain on job to convince Maa for the same. They sent several indications for the fact the biggest sin in the world is – spiritual proud. When a person is regularly getting messages directly through the God or through his/her subconscious mind (It is the real mind of the spirit which gets locked when the spirit wears human-costume but still it works when the person is in deep dreamless sleep. Its existence is separate from physical or logical mind. Earthly people call it inner voice or voice of conscience) and ignoring it, it is a mistake. When a person is getting instructions from God Almighty to emancipate His messages to the society and he/she is ignoring them, it is a crime. And the most dangerous karma is to swell in pride that he/she is the person who is getting messages from supreme powers. This is the biggest sin. God says, “When a person is very talented and getting aesthetic experiences, it means I myself have chosen Him/Her to spread my messages to the world. People on earth call Him/Her a Prophet or Paigamber but I regard Him/Her as co-creator. Thus, it is a big responsibility. You don’t have to commit sin and at the same time you have to spread my messages.”

Maa was understanding the instructions but was of idea that spirituality was not Her subject. She was good in social works, in creative-writings and in business of finance but was fully unaware and unconnected to spiritual vocabulary, preaching and etc. In short, Maa was nervous about Her skill and capabilities. Through different ways God convinced Maa that the earth is going to face great trouble. People should be ready to manage the disasters. (For details kindly wait for autobiography of Maa.)

God wants that His people should get spiritual as soon as possible because each spirit has to accomplish his spiritual journey. To deal with hesitation of Maa in year 2011 God did show Her one very beautiful scene. One Goddess kept on whispering in Her ears for long. The crux of that talk was – “Recall the thesis of your Ph.D. (The topic of Maa’s thesis is ‘Sant Saahitya me Loktatva’ means Folklore in Saints’ literature). You fully understand the folk. You can talk to people. You can address them. Go to them. Talk to them. They will listen you. Don’t hesitate. You know about saints. You have command on both the subjects. You know everything. You understand everything. Don’t think, just get started. Then Maa saw that Her thesis is open in the sky, in a way that its front and back pages were visible together (as we can easily see when the book is open). At left side a pair of words ‘sant-saahityaa (saints’-literature)’ written in divinely beautiful way and at right a pair of words ‘Lok-tatva (folk-lore)’ in same style were clearly readable. At centre of both the sides (which remains with each and every book to be adjusted with the thickness) there was a word ‘mein (in)’. All these words were written in devnaagri Hindi. The thesis was shining bright. By the time Maa was preparing Herself to understand the significance of it to soldier such a heavy assignment She saw one more beautiful scene. She saw a divine light was coming down. It was a flame in a cup style lamp. This cup was very beautiful and splendid. It was made of some mattle(s). Beautiful engraving with wonderful colour was seen on the lamp. This lamp took a half round from top-centre of the thesis to left side and came down at bottom-centre. The handle of the lamp was at right side and then the wick of this lamp hid the word ‘mein (in)’. This flame was unbelievably divine. It highlighted the two pairs of words i.e. Sant-saahitya and Lok-tatva. As if both were written in the sky. The whole thesis was illuminating. As if the whole existence was witnessing the scene and was trying to convince Maa, “Go ahead, go ahead. Come on! You can do this.” Then finally Maa got the courage to shoulder new assignment of working as messenger of God. Maa’s followers were suggesting Her several names adorned to Her mission. Maa Sunita Tatvamasi had been fully approved by the supreme powers as they kept on talking to Her with the address as “Maa or Maa Tatvamasi” for whole night. The very night of the day when this name was suggested. Finally, very happily and confidently Maa declared that She was interested in renunciation and ready to accept Her new name – MAA SUNITA TATVAMASI.

Soon after Maa’s adoption of new role in year 2011, one more special incident had been seen by Maa. Maa saw that She and one more deity are standing on the sky. This deity was playing a role of teacher. Her hand was very beautiful. She was wearing beautiful bangles. Red color/henna was applied on Her hand in attractive designs. Nailpolish was also applied on Her nails. This teacher kept on teaching Maa for three and a half to four hours with the support of white board and marker. Maa found Herself as She was a student of ninth or tenth standard. Very carefully and very consciously Maa was learning each and everything from that deity. The posture, the age, the complexion, the body structure, the hair-style and the dress-style each and everything was similar to Her ninth-tenth standard. A serious and sincere student. Even back of Her mind was not giving any signal of mature age. Sincerely Maa learnt everything. The last sentence of the Goddess was, “Tell people: I AM SPREADING THE MESSAGE OF GOD.” This episode was the last push and now Maa is very much comfortable in Her mission.


For this wonderful journey Maa recalls Sufism where love for one person has the capability to make the lover reach to ecstasy. This person can be any relative, Guru, friend and etc. "Love with one person can turn you into the mother of whole universe. This is the power of true love." Maa describes.

She is the mother now but still recalls Her childhood again and again. Since childhood Maa feels that some heat emits from top of Her scalp. She never disclosed this before but She pours ample water at this point and when heat unbearable she rubs ice too. Sometimes She enjoys rain-shower. But this heat is not ignorable. Since childhood Maa applies henna at Her head on weekly basis to keep it cool. To maintain this frequency Maa has cut Her hair short. Previously She was unaware about the secret of this heat but in year 2010 only She came to know that almost all the awakened persons had experienced the same feeling.

Many a times Maa finds Herself in nritya-smadhi (dance-trance), when She forgets everything about the world and wants the whole world to join this dance. Where one can feel that this is not only he/she who is dancing, rather, whole universe is dancing within him/her. It’s a unique feeling which comes with a passage of time when the spirit is going through the journey of purification and surrenders itself into the hands of Almighty. Free air, free body, free soul with aesthetic music and a non-dual state when love is driving everything, when happiness is unconditional and when bliss is the only recognition.

Kindly visit Maa at www.maatatvamasi.org
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