Helo With Deployment!


Well this may be a long story but please give your imput....

I have been with my marine since we were 13. We dated all through high school and after school he joined the USMC and I went to college. After my first year of college I dropped everything, eloped with him in California and moved there to his base. We have been married for almost 2 years and he went to Iraq in August 2008. He is set to be home in 3 weeks. About 2 months ago he dropped a bomb shell on me. Although we have been together for so long, he is now telling me that he was never happy. That he can't see any good times that we have ever had in our relationship. He says the military is the place for him and that he wants to reinlist. It has been very hard for us throughout this deployment. When he was home I worked and went to school while he worked on base and things were seemingly ok. Since he has deployed I see such a big change in him. He is very blunt and says things without consideration of my feelings. Some of those things he takes back but they still hurt. Now he is telling me that he wants us to stay separate when he comes home from Iraq. I will stay in Ohio and he will go back to Cali. I was set to come see him return from deployment but he told me not to. He says he wants to come home for a week or so and thats it. I am so heart broken I can't describe it. We honestly had a good relationship before deployment. Altough we didn't spend as much time together as we would have liked, due to military things, work, and school, we did have a good relationship. I am so shocked as well are a lot of my military wiife friends that he is acting this way. I'm not sure if he will snap out of this when we reunite after deployment or not. I don' t want to be divorced, I really love him. I just think the solitary life of deployment has done this to him. I want him to try post deployment counceling with me but he doesn't seem like he wants to make the effort. He feels that he got married too yound and maybe he also feels like he is missing out on being a bachelor, I don't really know. I don't know if he met someone while deployed although he honestly isn't the cheating type. I just need some advice from the ladies who know the military life best, my fellow marine wives and girlfriends.


I would appreciate any and all comments and suggestions... or your own stories that may relate.

prezkelly24 prezkelly24
2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

Wow, this is a heartbreaking situation. Our branch of the military is Army, not Marines, but I too have heard this story all too often. I would take the advice above from Squadwife and seek out the base Chaplin. The U.S. military does encourage family counseling, and since you two are already married, that would strongly be advised before throwing in the towel. At some point, your man is going to realize (young or not) that the fact that you stood by him during all of this is HUGE.<br />
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Talk to the Chaplin and turn this over to God with faith. You have to trust that what is best for YOU is what will happen. <br />
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Peace and blessings,<br />
Airborne Gal (Pam)

It could be P.T.S.D. Maybe try talking to someone on base that might know more about this. I've heard other girls talk about this kind of stuff. I havn't dealt with this with my husband but after he came back he did however become an abusive alcholoic and we worked through it together and now things are good. x