What The Hell Happened?


(I'm a girl btw...bisexual)

We were rocky friends for a long time and then suddenly things got serious. It was too fast for me to stop and think. I started neglecting my other friendships and people were gossipping about what was going on. I was very sheltered in the short time we spent together, so what I had with her seemed perfect to me. I approached my best friend when I noticed her starting to isolate herself and come home upset. (We all live together...yes it sucks) She said that I was neglecting her for something stupid. She said this "friend" of mine hooked up with her one night when she was very drunk and was passing out. It made her uncomfortable and she also has a boyfriend which was even worse. This "friend" also tried hooking up (sober) with my other best friend who was living at our apartment for a while trying to look for a job. I don't understand this girl. She basically has attempted to or has hooked up with people I care for. I feel used. I'm just the next ***** she fingered. I've been feeling very uneasy about this. I talked about this with my best friend again and she explained the details of what she remembers from her drunken night. I'm not jealous, but more disappointed that I let this happen to me. Before this all happened I didn't really like this "friend." It thought she was conniving and shady because of things she said about me in the past. I feel like I was so adamant that I hated her. Then we talked about our issues, I let my guard down, and we jumped into a confusing closeness where we were hooking up as if we were in a relationship. The thought of this "friend" also hooking up with my best friend eats away at me. I feel dirty. I just want to understand why someone would do this? In the past over our friendship, there have been instances that I thought this "friend" liked me or wanted to hook up with me. Now I just thinks she is thirsty for sex. Most importantly, HOW do I get this off my mind? I thought writing about it somewhere would be a good 1st step. :-)
keepitquiet keepitquiet
18-21, F
Nov 29, 2012